Married Melodies
by AmadErik
Summary: This story is the continuation of Hungarian Rhapsody. Self- insert, describing what happens after Erik and I got married in Paris, 1882. :)
1. Tuning

My sweet sister,

I do hope your journey was a pleasant one and you are home with Raoul safe and sound. Erik and I both send him our best regards. We both hope you are in a good health and are waiting for your reply eagerly. We are so very happy you spent our wedding day with us and were here to celebrate with us. The day I have spent with you, Erik and the Daroga was the happiest day of my life and I am so looking forward to the times I am going to spend with my newlywed husband.

 _Don Juan Triumphant_

Speaking of him, he is like a nervous schoolboy nowadays. He is so sweet when we are just the two of us. He blushes all the time, and I do believe he can't believe he has a wife and he is yet under the effect of some kind of shock. He is extremely caring and sweet to me, they "I- kiss-the-ground-you-walk-on" kind of caring, and I often catch him looking at me while I just walk around him or play the piano, and I see so much adoration in his eyes I could cry sometimes. I know it is a bit of sad and sweet at the same time, and that it might creep you out, but I enjoy it mostly. He says often that I am the most sublime of ladies and I am his precious little girl.

After the wedding though, I think I wasn't too much ladylike (I am not even too much ladylike anyway, but well), and I had a bit too much wine to drink when we arrived home and Erik again celebrated with one of his most prized wines. I did not quite want to disappoint him by the denial of the wine as I had a glassful at the dinner as well, and I am not used to alcohol, so I had two more glasses with him, but I guess I shouldn't have had so much. The strange thing was he wasn't angry with me because I talked so much nonsense to him and giggled all evening, he was laughing as well. Well, this is why I wasn't in too good shape and looked tired when we said goodbye the next morning. Hope you can forgive me for it. I am a bit of afraid Erik is going to make me get used to wine. I am not sure though if it is a good or bad thing.

 _Good thing._

Next Monday we are going to leave for our honeymoon and Erik is taking me to Salzburg! I am so much excited for it as I am both happy for the long journey we are going to take together, and I am absolutely excited to finally see Mozart's birthplace in person. Have you been to Salzburg yet? The journey there is going to be so exciting, long and I am not only going to see things from a train window or even worse, from a car window at 200m/h. You see, Christine, in my time we mostly travel by car or planes if it is long-distance, I have never sat on a plane before, but I am sure going by a brougham and sometimes on train is much more romantic, and I am going to ask Erik to go as slow as possible.

 _Oh Heavens. That is going to be tiring._

I can't wait. Of course, I am going to write to you as much as possible and I would like if you wrote me as much as you can.

Well, this is all for now, I think. Please take good care of yourself and remember I love you my sister.

Hope to see you soon and until next time I remain your loving sister,

Juti

When I was going to fold the letter to be sent out, I noticed Erik's little side note remarks and crossed out words I wanted to rewrite the whole thing, but it won't solve anything.

\- Why are you censoring my letters? – I turned to him.

\- I beg for your forgiveness. – He gasped then lowered his head like he was hit. – Erik did not like the fact Juti sent his regards to Raoul without his agreement and that she was calling him a nervous schoolboy.

\- Don Juan Triumphant is still a bit of an exaggeration as you still did not touch me that way. – I teased.

\- Once… I will. – He stuttered nervously.

I nodded and left the subject at that as I did not want to make Erik feel uncomfortable about this issue as he did before. Hurrying things will only make him panic. It is a huge enough step he sleeps with me in the Louis- Philippe sleigh bed every night since the wedding we saved here in the new house as well. I often wake up with my head on his chest and him hugging my head and his palm resting on my hair.

\- I just ask you not to censor my letters any more. Deal?

\- Deal. – He nodded – If you don't read my journal again.

\- I won't, I promise. – I giggled.

\- Good. – He nodded, then sighed a bit in relief, seeing he did not do anything to anger me too much. I decided I was going to send that letter out as it was, I thought Christine will laugh at it anyway.

\- Why did you say I should get used to wine? – I remarked.

\- Because you are too much of a saint. You don't drink, you don't smoke, you had no affairs with men, you are always good, you don't really have any bad habits save from the occasional cussing and I don't wish you to go straight to Heaven from my side, still alive. At least you should drink, so we could drink together. – He chuckled.

\- I talk too much nonsense when I am drunk.

\- You are never drunk, that one evening did not count as being drunk, you little silly, it was mere tipsiness.

\- I am not going to have drinking contests with you. – I shrugged. – You drink me under the table at the fourth round or less and I am not fond of the thought.

\- I did not say that, only asked you to be a bit of more open and less afraid of it. It is at least good for inspiration.

\- And would be good to ease some inhibitions as well? – I winked at him which he just acknowledged with a shrug.

\- Wine is too little for that. – He snorted after a few minutes of silence.

\- Sorry for my remark. – I rubbed his shoulder with an apologetic smile.

\- You are spending too much time with Erik. – He stated. – Sending sarcastic remarks of everything is his privilege.

\- One can never send too much time with someone she loves. – I turned my head towards him to kiss the top of his head, leaning towards him above the chair's backrest.

I can't describe the thankful expression in Erik's eyes after that.

Day by day after the wedding Erik seemed to find his way back to his usual way of acting, seeing nothing really changed about our relationship other than us having a lawful document of us being a couple. We were just as we used to be, and Erik finally stopped to look up at me like I was some kind of a marble artwork he finally owns, and got back to his usual way of acting and speaking to me before the wedding. Though he took up a new, I think cute habit, he started leaving me small kind notes around the house after I did something which was to his liking. They were mostly about my sleeping habits, such as:

" _Thank you for hugging me in your sleep_ " " _You called out to me in your dream and I loved it._ " " _You kissed the pillow while sleeping, was it for me_?"

But other times he chose to compliment my looks or skills:

" _How great you look in that blue dress, wear it more often_ " " _Today's Moonlight Sonata sounded quite like what Beethoven had in his mind_ " " _You maybe don't feel like it, but you are getting better and better with the violin_ " and " _How did you know I liked eggs like that_?"

I found them cute, especially he often inserted a smiley on the paper after I explained him of the concept of emojis and that people often communicate sending them in written texts. I was surprised he did not say these out loud rather than scribbling them down on some mostly sheet music paper, but maybe it was a funny reference by him to my earlier sentence where I mentioned people in my time were even texting each other from the other room rather than talking to each other out loud.

Talking out loud was, as usual, his weak spot still. I realized in these days he talked even less to me than during the days we used to spend at the House by the Lake, he mostly did not speak, and to questions, he would rather nod or shake his head than telling me something.

The night before we were about to leave for our honeymoon I decided I will finally make him talk.

\- Why so silent, Good Monsieur? – I sang, while I crossed the room to arrive in front of his chair.

\- Why should I be not? – He asked.

\- You never ever talk. – I teased.

\- You talk enough for both of us, there is no need for me to talk. – He retorted with a chuckle. – Anyway, you know I don't really like to speak unless you provoke it out. I am going to say something when I will have something important to tell.

\- I'd appreciate if you felt you had to tell me something important more often. – I admitted. – The thing you say doesn't always have to be useful.

\- I do not like to uselessly prate.

\- Like me? – I giggled.

\- Sometimes. – He agreed. – But I have gotten used to it during the months.

\- Does it bother you?

\- If it bothered me, would I have married you? – He chuckled.

\- Maybe not. – I smiled.

\- Absolutely not. I would never marry someone who annoys me. – He smiled and leaned closer to kiss me. – I just hope you do not find Erik annoying. It is not that I don't want to talk to you, I just… you know I just mostly don't know what to say.

\- You can tell me so interesting things when you are in the mood. And you are never annoying to me. – I hugged him.

\- I am happy. – He sighed in relief. – Maybe it sounds foolish to you but sometimes I am still worried all of this was just a sweet dream I am having right now and one day I will wake up all alone in the cellars.

\- You will never ever wake up alone, Erik sweetie and no more cellars for you. You are going to lead a life like everyone else with a living wife by your side until death shall part. – I confessed my deepest feelings to him.

\- Do you promise? – He took my hand longingly. – Do you promise Erik it will be like this?

\- I do. – I nodded seriously, placing a kiss on his forehead.

\- Whatever happens? – He pulled me closer, looking around insecurely.

\- Through thick and thin as true love will always win.

\- You talk like a love poet. – Erik laughed out. – Yet… I believe you. Well… I promise I am trying my best to talk more if it is what you desire.

\- I wish to hear your voice more. Such a sweet voice you have and I wish to hear it as much as possible.

\- I am talking much more since I know you, do you know? – He winked.

\- Were you sitting around in complete silence, my dear?

\- Who should I have talked to? Of course, I talked to myself sometimes but it wasn't my first priority. It is good you are so talkative, you force me to answer you, and so I am not sitting around in silence any more.

\- I have an idea. – I pointed at him.

\- What is it? – He got a bit of curious it seemed like.

\- Let's know each other better. I ask you something and you answer. And after we change roles. And you tell the truth.

\- Good. – He nodded. – We are married now we need to clear things up. But I ask you not to ask too much questions about my life earlier than my Parisian years. And I have the right to refuse to answer. Deal?

\- Deal, but if you answer, try not to give only one- word answers, dear.

\- I will try my best. – He nodded. – Firstly?

\- Do you honestly not like cats? – I started by a more innocent kind of question, just to tune up.

\- I am not saying I dislike them, I am just saying I am more of a dog or horse person. But I like all kinds of animals, I just like to be grumpy, and I mostly take it out on Wolfy, while I got used to him and started to like him a lot. – He admitted.

\- And what about children? – I tested the waters.

\- I am yet undecided about this subject. – He shrugged. – Children are mostly too noisy and messy and dull for my taste.

\- What if I got pregnant? – I asked.

\- You will not. – He shook his head firmly.

\- So this is why you do not touch me like a husband touches his wife? – I inquired.

\- Not exactly, no. – He swallowed, starting to feel uncomfortable. – It is just I don't feel ready for the… role yet.

\- So you really plan to?

\- I do. – He nodded, then unbuttoned his shirt collar, suddenly feeling too hot.

\- But if it is so, you will have to be prepared of being a father. – I grinned.

\- Erik is going to… take great care NOT to. – He stated with determination.

\- It is really not a possibility to have a child with you?

\- No. – He shook his head. – Absolutely never. I am not going to risk passing the deformity. Rather I'd play Russian roulette.

\- So you are into these kinds of games. – I frowned.

\- Saw some. – He nodded.

\- Wait, would you get in a duel?

\- Only if it was necessary.

\- What makes it necessary?

\- Adultery. Or if your honor gets in danger.

\- So if I cheated on you, you will get the guy in a fight?

\- Depends. – He shrugged. – Knowing you, that scenario would only happen if the pest turned violent. – He inhaled sharply- And if it is so, the rat isn't even worthy of a duel in my eyes, as a duel is a matter of honor between two men. – His hands turned into fits- And if he dares to touch my wife I simply shoot him and wait for that bastard to die the slowest and most painful death.

\- Oh my. – I swallowed. – So you would kill?

\- I would most certainly kill them in a duel as well anyway. – He snorted then laughed out shortly. – I am excellent with shooting and swordfights as well as the Punjab string. They have no chance. So… my turn sweetie. What would you do if I killed someone, huh?

\- It depends. – I sighed.

\- On what? – He leaned closer.

\- If it was an accident or… self-defense or… something else…

\- In the latter case what would you do? – He leaned closer, so my face was just an inch away from his. – Would you still keep your promise? Your promise you made Erik just a few minutes earlier, my dear?

\- You also promised me you will never kill anyone. – I said. – But… I am really not sure. – I put my hands on his shoulder, then gripped his jacket, being afraid of losing him. – Don't make me make such a decision, ever… please!

\- If I can avoid it, you can be sure I won't. – His beautiful voice rang in my ears calmly, but not that coldly as before, he was clearly trying to calm me. He put his hands on my back reassuringly, then started massaging it comfortingly. – Erik is going to be gentle as a lamb, and the best husband you can ask for. He will never get you in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation. – He kissed my forehead. – And if it worries you, I promise you our time shall come as well, and other than having a child, Erik is willing to do anything to make his wife happy in any aspects… you will know when I am ready for it, just… I ask for some more time… but please know it is not you the problem, it is me.

\- I am not hurrying you. – I smiled and held his hands longingly. – And thank you for being honest and being here with me.

\- The honor is mine, sweetie. Having a wife of my own is more than I can wish for. Especially if she is so sweet. – He kissed me then patted my head lovingly. – But now, dear, I advise you to go to bed. You will be very tired if you don't sleep enough before we leave for our journey.

\- Erik…

\- Yes?

\- Are you sure you don't mind taking me to Salzburg? I mean I was maybe selfish, making you have such a long journey in your age…

\- Do not call me old. – He put his finger on my lips. – And as I said, I would do anything to make you happy. It is the least to do when you are here to love me. And anyway, I liked to travel in my youth, and I haven't left Paris in the past 20 years for more than one day. It will do me some good. – He pushed my nose playfully, he liked to do so. – Sleep now my dear, Erik is going to join you shortly.

With a wide grin all over my face I left him there, waiting for our journey to start. I was sure I won't sleep too much that night though – I was too much excited.


	2. Preparations

_Erik_

 _Honestly, I am not too fond of the idea of going on such a long and tiring journey, but it might really do me some good, and it is not like the travelling I had to go through earlier, all alone, aimlessly wandering around the world, despised by everyone. Right now I have a loving companion by my side, and I can show her some of the world, which will give her so much happiness, and since she gave me the honor of becoming my wife by her own free will, I want to do nothing more than making her happy anyway I can. And being with her I am happy. Wherever I am, it is all the same to me, only Juti… Juti shall be around and it is Heaven. I think I am going to enjoy the journey more than I did my earlier ones because of Juti… I have to think positively!_

 _Only one more thing is bothering me still._

 _I am rather uncomfortable about giving my house keys to the Daroga while we are away from Paris. Yet I do have to, as someone has to take care of the stupid cat. If it was up to me I'd just lock it out to the garden until we return, so the thing is going to catch mice and birds for itself, but Juti is scared the animal will run away and never return and that it was going to die of starvation. This is a less likely possibility, we used to own cats when I was a boy and they never entered the house at all, yet they were always around, and well- fed. Juti treats the cat as a baby and keeps it in the house constantly, she doesn't even let me to put it out in the garden to hunt. I tried to explain her she thinks too highly of a simple animal, and that the thing would need some more freedom, but the stupid thing just always lays on the couch, totally disregarding my knowledge of his nature, always proving "Mommy" to be right._

 _So… Unless I want a disaster to happen and Juti crying for three weeks straight, I have to let the Persian all alone in MY house. He would be the last person I would want to give the keys of my house, this is why I never allowed him to sniff around my "home" under the Opera. It was a big enough achievement I trusted Christine so much to give her own keys and after to allow Juti to go in and out of my house as she pleased, but now the Daroga should earn the privilege of entering my house freely when I am NOT EVEN HOME?_

 _This is too much for me to handle yet. He is going to read all my journals. He is going to search for the slightest of trace to finish the stupid Persian cop investigation he is doing. He loves to find out new things to keep me in his hands with…_

 _Oh no no no no. Erik, we were already reasoning about this. You have already apologized to him for being distrusting. You will have to learn to trust people, remember? The Daroga is your friend. This will be a great occasion to learn to trust him._

 _Of course, with the desired preparations before…_

 _And now I really should join to my wife and sleep the small amount of time I still can until we have to leave._

Juti's POV

I was right. I wasn't able to sleep that night, but not only because I was too excited. I fell asleep maybe half an hour after I went to bed, and I was sleeping fairly well until I felt a rather forceful kick on my side, followed by another at the very same time, and a third one right after. Opening my eyes and sliding slightly away from near Erik beside me, I knew he was having a nightmare, as he was kicking in his sleep as if he was running from someone or something, then he suddenly stopped. As it only seemed to be an episode, I first did not want to wake him up and hoped poor him was going to settle down after the bad session of the dream ended, and he really seemed like he was sleeping peacefully for some time, and I just turned to my side to try to sleep some more when I heard Erik started crying. I propped up on my elbow and turned to face him, and I saw his eyes were still closed, yet he held his arms against his chest, still asleep, crying hard. I could not stand seeing him suffer, so I gently shook him to wake him up, then kissed his forehead to chase the bad thoughts away from his mind.

At first he wasn't clearly conscious, just jumped up in panic as his eyes popped open, and he frantically looked around to finally recognize our bedroom. He leaned close to me and stared at me in utter worry, hugging me close to himself in a sudden emotional outburst. He did not want to let me go for a time, and dug his claws desperately in the back of my nightshirt. I did not say a word, just trying to calm him by my touch, holding him against myself, and stroking his nearly bald head. Being a bit of sleepy still, I absently twirled some of his hair around my finger, and he seemed to like it.

\- You… you here. – He started talking finally, after some more crying, seemingly rather calming himself than talking to me.

\- Of course. Where should I be, sweetie?

\- Show… show Erik… are you injured? – He examined me worriedly, which act surprised me a lot.

\- Why would I be? I am fine. – I explained.

\- Thank Heavens. – He wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his nightshirt, and finally calming down a bit, he lay back on his pillow to settle down.

\- It was just a nightmare. – I stroke some wet and messy locks out of his pale forehead. – Whatever it was, it isn't reality.

\- Yet. – He coughed. – Yet it isn't, but…

\- Erik, please calm down. – I tried to soothe his mind by rubbing his shoulder.

\- Promise me something. – He stared into my eyes blankly.

\- What is it dear?

\- Please, if… if Erik is attacked… - He was wheezing for some moments, still haunted by terrible memories of the nightmare- So… if he is attacked in public… promise… promise Erik you will NOT try to defend him… ever.

\- Erik, you are my husband. If someone harms you I am going to defend you to the best of my ability.

\- I… I seriously and absolutely prohibit it! – He sat up again, vehemently, and grabbed my shoulder. – I implore you if people start throwing stones at Erik, you run to the opposite direction and pretend you do not know him.

\- This would be the most coward and hostile act I could ever do against you. – I gasped.

\- But it will make you… survive…! Don't you understand?

\- Erik, that's what you dreamed? This is why you cried?

\- It was the first… very first time… Erik was dreaming about someone else's death other than his own. And it made him utterly aware of that can happen IN REALITY. Any time. – He stared at me with fright, then hurriedly kissed my forehead.

\- Nothing like that shall happen. – I shook my head and reassuringly patted his shoulder.

\- What if my mask falls? What if my makeup comes off? What if the fake nose gets damaged? – He baulked. – People, if they can see my real face… are likely to turn hostile by firght of something they don't know. Juti, you have to get prepared of each possible scenario, that you MIGHT be in danger by my side. I will try my best to protect you, but there might be a possibility I have to fight… for my life… and can't protect you as well… If it happens… I beg you to run away and leave me to my fate. If you try to fight for a monster, people will turn against you as well and will do terrible things against you, just because you love a monster.

\- But if I leave you there…

\- I will most likely be fine, only would receive a few scratches or hits. I am used to them. But if something irreversible happens to you I will never forgive myself for it. Juti… do not let Erik consume himself in self-loathing because he was unable to protect you from cruelty of mankind regarding the outcast.

I had to admit Erik was right in a way, so I could not do anything else than to nod and softly promise I would do as he asked of me. This made him feel noticeably better and he lay down again, asking for my forgiveness he had woken me up, then he allowed me to snuggle up against him and we fell asleep again.

He woke me up by a soft kiss on my ear, which made me giggle. He stroke my hair and smiled at me with adoration.

\- Are you feeling better, Erik sweetie? – I inquired.

\- Your presence always make me feel better. – He kissed me again.

\- I am glad. – I sighed in relief and got up from bed, jumping after Erik, who nearly crossed the room, and I hugged him from backwards.

\- Oh ho! What has gotten into you? You are so active in such an early hour, Juti my beauty. – He laughed out.

\- I am just so happy to be your wife and to be able to go with you… wherever you go.

\- Oh. – He turned back to see my face and leaned closer to gently kiss my cheek, like a little boy after being complimented. – If you say such things to me, it makes me feel better… much better.

Being utterly touched, he turned away again, and walked towards the door, informing me shortly that I should start to get ready as we have a terribly long journey ahead of us.

By the time I got ready dressing up and said goodbye to Wolfy, promising him we will be back soon from our honeymoon and asked him to be a good boy, Erik also appeared next to me, dressed up, wearing the human mask and the wig, and one of his light gray suits. He patted my shoulder and asked if I had to get something out of any of the rooms still.

\- My violin. – I wanted to go fetch it, but he caught my arm.

\- We are leaving for a honeymoon of a few weeks only, not for a concert tour. I take mine, it is enough.

\- All right, yours is better sounding anyway. – I giggled.

\- Depends on who uses it. – He teased. – Anything else?

\- Not really. Why do you ask? – I asked, but I realized right after. Erik locked each of the doors in the house, save for the guest bathroom.

\- You are too much cautious. – I laughed. – The Daroga comes every day to take care of the house, I doubt someone would enter to a house which isn't abandoned.

\- I am locking the rooms exactly from the Daroga. – He lifted his finger up, then sighed, I think being tired of having to explain such a simple thing.

\- I doubt he would try on your underwear, what are you afraid of so much?

\- You always have so weird ideas. – He shrugged. – I just simply don't wish him to be able to eter each of the rooms. He will be able to enter to the places I welcome him at.

\- You are the master of the house. – I shrugged agreeably. – It is your decision.

\- Exactly. – He lifted up the suitcase I wanted to carry, and walked towards the front door. – The carriage arrived here in five minutes.

\- That was my bag. – I snorted, not liking the fact he wanted to carry all of the luggage all alone.

\- Bring the violin.

\- It is only no more than two kilograms in all. – I baulked.

\- But it is most prized. – He pointed out. – It is your job to guard my precious.

I shook my head with a giggle and picked up the violin. Erik had such a great skill in manipulation, making me believe he really wanted me to carry the most prized possession, instead of the reason he wanted me to be saved from carrying heavy things.

Another surprise met me when I noticed the Persian in front of the garden gate, standing by the carriage, waiting for us.

\- Do you come as well, Mohammed? – I cheered.

\- Shall he do so and I jump right in front of the horses. – Erik barked, noticing the Daroga.

\- I would never travel with Erik once again for a long period of time. – The Persian shook his head. – It was enough for once in my life. I only came to say goodbye to my most beloved teacher. – He smiled at me and bowed.

\- You are so kind. – I smiled and hugged him shortly, which surprised him a bit, but smiled at me kindly.

\- So are you.

\- Don't worry. Once we return the lessons continue. And don1t forget to practice not to fall out of routine.

\- I will.

\- Thank you for taking care of the cat and the house. – Erik bowed shortly, then reached into his pocket, lifting up a set of keys for the front door and the garden gate. He was looking at them longingly for some seconds, then he reluctantly held them out in front of the Persian. – Here. – He cleared his throat.

\- Thank you. – The Persian nodded.

\- I.. I thank you. – Erik replied shortly.

With a last nod, he packed all of the suitcases to the top of the carriage, save for the violin which was with us in the carriage. He helped me to the vehicle, and as the horses started to move, I waved to the Daroga for one last time.

\- Have a safe trip! Erik, Juti! Feel good!

\- Don't forget to practice. – I smiled and said softly, as we were getting further from him.

\- I love you. – Erik poked my shoulder by his finger and when I looked at him he kissed me passionately on the lips.


	3. Start of a Journey

Travelling in the late 19th century is really something else than travelling in the 2010s. I had a lot of experiences with trains and buses in my earlier life, and my Uncle had a car to help us out if we needed it sometimes. I have travelled earlier a lot in Hungary, on class field trips, and when I was visiting my Grandparents at Mom's birthplace which was 70 kilometers away from my hometown, and I was travelling a lot in my late teens and early twenties when I was at University I took the distance of 200 kms back and forth each week. 200 kilometers took 3 hours by a bus, as we were going around each of the smaller destinations and we stopped at a city for half an hour all the time, which was making things noticeably longer.

I thought travelling by steam locomotives was much slower than a bus. It was, to be honest, but not too much noticeably. We were surprisingly fast for my taste, and I just was speechless about the beauty and quality of the older trains inside as well as in the outside. The modern high tech air conditioned all square and "cleared off shapes" trains in my time were too much dirty and less appealing for my taste and I expected the trains in this older century to be even dirtier, but I had to disappoint in a positive way. Of course, I am sure lower class train sections weren't so clean and comfortable, but I only met first class sections during the journey, as Erik always bought tickets for first class compartments. He said he did it because his little wife deserved only the best, yet I was sure it was partly true he wished to spoil me, the main reason was rather he did not wish to be bothered too much by the people around us, and he loathed crowd by the depth of his heart, and his first action after we got inside a cabin was he locked the door from the inside, so no one else should enter at all. I hoped this will make him happier as he was in a bad mood after we arrived to the train station in Paris.

Though on the train, he did not seem to be happier after we got rid of the other's presence either. He was sitting at the window with a thick book he was reading, in Russian, and he seemed to be stressed. He was wearing the fake nose and the mustache for this part of the ride, as I asked him to get rid of the human mask, and instantly closed the curtain as he sat down, so there was no chance for me to look out of the window and watch the landscape, which bothered me a bit, so I looked out to watch the corridor. I had no idea why Erik had to sit at the window at all if he was reading. What a waste of the seat by the window. I've seen people passing our compartment on the corridor, and a small boy, I think he was around 6 years old, guided by a young woman, smiled and waved at me happily, and to him I waved back.

\- It is impolite for a woman to get acquainted on a train. – Erik disciplined me not even looking up from his book.

\- It was only a young boy. – I snorted.

\- Especially not with young boys.

\- He was a CHILD. – I sighed.

\- Oh, children are not taught to manners, that is another thing. – He turned the page absently.

\- Why am I sensing you are jealous? – I blinked.

\- Because I am. – He admitted, looking up from his book as the train left the station.

\- Don't be. I am going on a honeymoon with Erik, not the guy with the thick mustache in a soldier uniform.

\- Yet that one would be more beautiful on a portrait with you. – He remarked.

\- But I don't love him. – I smiled. – No one but you.

\- It was a stupid idea. – He sighed, not even getting comfortable by my confession.

\- What? Going on a honeymoon with me?

\- No. – He shook his head.

\- Then? Marrying me? – I inquired with a hint of hurt.

\- No! – Erik put down the book next to him on the plush seat and leaned closer to me worriedly. – Did Erik… give you that impression my love?

\- A bit. – I nodded. – There was no time before when you did not get better even after I told you I loved you. I guessed you regretted the decision.

\- No! – He gasped and finally jumped next to me on the seat, hugging me. – I just…. I… I am not talking about the wedding or the journey, I am just… darling would you mind if I put on the mask…?

\- Erik, don't you say you have another one yet again. – I tilted my head and shuddered to the thought of those black masks.

\- Not the black one. You know the one that makes Erik look like everyone else…

\- You saved it? – I giggled.

\- For… emergencies. Yes. Juti please… understand that… I am rather uncomfortable by this… disguise. You know it isn't helping my appearance much. I just look like a corpse with a shiny nose.

Well, Erik should have used the word "transparent" instead of "shiny" as I just got the line "Rudolf the red nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose" stuck in my head right after he expressed his concern regarding his looks and I was desperately trying not to burst out of an unladylike laughter right into his face, especially after I pictured him with a red round lighting nose. I bit my lips, trying to hold it in, and covered my mouth, but Erik knew I was laughing.

\- What is so damn funny huh? – He leaned closer with a hint of annoyance.

This was the point it just burst out of me, and I whined with laughter, trying to stop.

\- Sorry I did not mean… - I dried my eyes and looked at him. – I don't mind if you wear your human mask.

\- Thank you. – Erik smiled finally and kissed me on the forehead. He learned to understand if I laughed at something it wasn't always because I made fun of him. I did not want him to think I was laughing at him though, so I briefly told him what came to my mind, and he wasn't getting angry. He just shrugged and admitted it really sounded funnier in this context, yet he did not feel like laughing.

He removed his suitcase from the shelf and was searching in it for that horrid rubber professor face and closed the curtain to the door as well. He did not pull the curtain away even after he finally put on his mask, so we were sitting in a darkened compartment. I did not really like the fact, as he started reading again. I wondered how on earth he could read by only the light coming through the small gap between the window and the curtain. It was broad daylight, yet it was already insufficient for me to see a thing in a book. Hoping he will finally get enough of darkness, I tried to pull it away from at least the window, but Erik asked me not to.

\- Then what shall I do? I can't watch the landscape because you closed the curtains.

\- Then read.

\- At first, I can't because the books I wanted to pack suddenly disappeared.

\- You wanted to bring half of the bookcase.

\- I want my Kindle. – I sighed to myself. - But anyway I can't read because you. Closed. The. Curtains.

\- Read. On. Your. Phone. – He imitated my exaggerated emphasis.

\- I can't because I ought to save the battery. – I explained. – There is no power and the battery won't last for weeks. It can hardly work for two days straight and you closed the curtains. At least we could do something improper if you hid us from the outside glances. – I winked.

\- The activity you are implying would be extremely uncomfortable on a moving train.

\- What? Kissing? – I giggled.

\- Kissing?

\- Yes, it is improper to do in public as well, no? – I shook my head while giggling. – It's not always about f-ing.

\- I am going to wash your unclean little mouth out by soap. – Erik shook his finger at me.

\- You may wash it three times thirty, yet my mind still remains dirty! – I spat out in a fit of giggle.

\- God, you are coming up with sillier poems day by day. – Erik shrugged with a small laugh. – Is there a chance you will save me from them?

\- I promise you won't hear another one until Metz.

\- Which is the next station. – He shook his head, hugging me close to himself.

\- Finally you are in a better mood? – I inquired.

\- Yes, you made me feel better. I was just uncomfortable about other people seeing me in the fake nose. With such a beautiful young lady… people were whispering things…

\- Don't listen to them, they are jealous.

\- What? How could they be jealous of an ugly man?

\- Jealous. – I repeated. – They envy my husband who isn't plain and ordinary like their husbands. Their husbands are just either bourgeois, or even worse. Their husband can't compose an opera and build up a palace. Mine can. – I looked at him with unhidden admiration.

\- Your husband often thought he would give his ability to build a palace for a face like everyone else. – He kissed my cheek, but smiled. – Yet it is kind of you to say so.

\- Erik, it comes to mind… I always wanted to ask this… would you have given… even your voice?

\- Do you mean if I chose I had a face like everyone else for the quality loss of my voice?

\- Yes.

\- Depends. – He sighed and scratched his head as he would considering the possibility. – Would I have a nose?

\- Yes, the most handsome nose you could imagine.

\- Hm. – He nodded. – And would that quality loss mean I could not sing?

\- You would be able to sing as an ordinary person without musical training perhaps.

\- Isn't it too much for a nose in return?

\- Maybe this is exactly why you are so good at singing no? There is special resonance in your head.

\- Maybe. – He shrugged. -Hard question. – Erik stared absently in my eyes. – Now as music and singing are very important to me, and it was always my language of choice I'd say I would not give my voice for a nose.

\- And me? – I tested.

\- You what?

\- Would you give me for a nose? My life.

\- No. – He shook his head firmly, then gasped and hugged me close, being afraid of losing me right away.

\- You… you love me more than your OWN VOICE? – I got surprised. – Sacrificing your voice was at least in consideration for a few seconds.

\- But of course I love you more than my own voice.

\- And you love me more than music? – I hugged his neck longingly.

\- I do. – Erik nodded, stroking my hair lovingly. – And you know how much of a compliment it is from a musician's lips. Being a musician yourself. – He kissed my forehead.

\- Would you even quit music for me?

\- I would if it was necessary. – He nodded seriously. – Though if I had to live without music, it would most likely cause my death. – He added. – Though I would gladly die for you.

\- Oh Erik…- I started, but he put his long thin finger on my lips.

\- What shall I do to you so you will shut your mouth for some minutes, my darling, hm? Oh ho! – He chuckled. – I know…

He leaning close to my face and kissing me passionately on the lips numerous times, I knew now it was a wise decision to close those curtains.


	4. Compromises

_Erik_

 _Honestly, I am surprised. Utterly surprised. I am speechless about two things the most so far. At first, I thought, being surrounded by other people will give Erik a lot more headaches, and much more serious ones. I have to admit, I am trying to close others out of our personal spaces mostly, as I always pay for first class cabins on the train to avoid some unpleasant companion, but I am still surrounded by people if we have to walk on the streets or rent rooms for the night, but contrary to my usual way of handling crowds, I haven't had those nasty headaches yet in these past five days of the journey. The most I had was some grumpiness and bad mood, and some jealousy from time to time, especially when I heard others discussing half loudly how a beautiful young lady like Juti could marry such an ugly old man like me, of course it never helps to lift my spirits… but Juti can._

 _Even if I am in a bad mood she can cheer me up, and I tend to ignore other people's remarks better than when I was alone. I am sure it is because Juti always makes up excuses about why other people give me remarks. She mostly says they are jealous. Jealous of my talents, of our love, that they have bad relationships with their partner and they are jealous to see two people in love. She might be right in a way, most middle- aged French couples talk to each other in a manner it is painful to listen to for a long time. I don't mind some painful teasing, but these I hear are mostly insults. I would never openly insult Juti. Not even after twenty or thirty years of marriage. I am so happy to have her as a wife that I can't imagine to get tired of being married to her to the level of complete bitterness regarding our relationship, not ever. I had felt bitterness over everything so far in my life, but Juti starts to teach me to see the light in the shadows again. Once, I was much more optimistic, in my childhood and youth, but my life and constant hatred made me sarcastic and full of hatred towards mankind… but just as I imagined, once someone… just one person starts to love me and I will be capable of love, I will be a better person… I hoped, secretly hoped but did not dare to believe it was possible. Yet it is._

 _Secondly, I thought such a long and tiring journey would suck out all my energy and I would handle travelling much worse, as I am old, much older than Juti, and I always feared she will always run forward and never wait for me to get in her heels. Sometimes I was afraid she will get lost in crowd, like a child you don't pay enough attention to, and so I tried to hold her hand firmly, but I realized it sometimes gave her pain, which made me feel sorry for her, so I learned to relax and just let her come beside me, or I gently held her arm. No tragedies happened, and she has much empathy not to make me run after her… even if I was more tired. But I am not. I feel like I am full of energy, just like in my youth, just as I was in my mid-twenties when I was travelling through Persia and all Europe… I imagined all my joints will be in pain, just as they were in Paris sometimes, and that I won't be able to keep up her tempo, but it is rather I walk too fast compared to her sometimes. How is that possible?_

 _Maybe having a much younger wife makes you younger? I so enjoy to teach her things, to show her the landscape, to tell her stories and interesting facts not linked to my earlier life and she so loves to listen to me… and I catch myself playing silly games with her, thumb wars, clapping with her to silly little rhymes on the train, and I usually act like a boy, mostly. I noticed to have a childish and immature side even in my older Parisian days, and it came out usually when I used sarcasm against the Daroga, but nowadays I have to realize my childish side is present more so than I'd have imagined and it is not only about insulting people. On the contrary. I don't feel like insulting… most of the people nowadays, not when I have Juti's charming smile to look at._

 _She is such a sweet girl, always keeping me entertained and loving on me, and she started reading me a book out loud, it is called "The Hobbit" by J.R.R Tolkien. I have to admit I like it much, especially because she is so excited about reading it to me. She reads it on her phone, cuddling to my side while we are in a room for the night. This is our little intimate activity before going to sleep every day. We are almost at the end but her phone just lost all the power. She is a bit of sad about it… until she finds out I can help her problem. I plan to do it as a surprise for her… she needs to realize this century is much more livable and less obscurantist than she'd think._

 _One thing I don't understand: why Juti hates the new mask so much? She is a little trickster, she keeps hiding it when I am asleep so I have to spend long minutes to search for it in the morning and there was a time we were late for a train for the reason I wasn't able to find it (even though the places she comes up with hiding it at are quite laughably simple, she had made extra efforts that morning which, I need to admit, outsmarted my logic for once…). I can't understand why she wants to see an ugly skull face with a transparent fake nose more than a handsome mask which makes me look like everybody else. Why must she make people stare at me…? Does she want to make me immune to strange glances? I doubt it will ever happen, but she is quite persistent in making me accept my features. She says remarks won't hurt so much if I love myself. I think she has some truth in what she says, but I believe we would need to make up some compromises in this aspect._

 _Other than that, I have nothing to complain about, for once in my life. Everyday problems, and annoying little things don't affect my mood so easily and heavily than they did before. Every little happening which was out of my daily routine used to give me discomfort and sometimes… (mostly) fits of rage, but now I don't even seem to give a damn about some minor mishaps._

 _Is it possible to get cured of two and a half decades long depression in one years' time?_

 **Juti's POV:**

It was a long day again, we were travelling all day and when we arrived to the inn, I was just happy to get in our room. I wanted to do nothing, just relax beside Erik, but he looked to be very excited about something and he, contrary to his usual way of acting, could not stay in one place. I also found it strange how he bought half a dozen of lemons at a local market before we were heading to the inn we were staying at. Lemons. Nothing else. As we arrived to our room, he excitedly unpacked them on the end table next to the bed and I rolled my eyes in total cluelessness.

\- What are we planning to do? – I asked, hoping he will explain it, but he was merely smiling. – Are you so thirsty? – I went on.

\- No. – He shook his head. – We are not having lemonade if this is what you are asking.

\- Then?

\- Surprise. – He kept smiling.

I shrugged, examining his mad scientist behavior. It amused me to see he was inserting nails and screws into a lemon.

\- Now it is screwed. – I stated in English, which made him chuckle.

\- It is, by the means you can no longer eat it. But once you find out what I want, you will be happy, and thankful you have your little husband with you.

\- Are you making an instrument? – I scratched my head.

\- No. – He laughed out. – It is not about music, but science.

I sat down on the bed to examine what he was doing, and when he caught my phone, suddenly I remembered back to a video I saw on Youtube a few years back, in which a lemon was used to charge a cell phone.

\- It wasn't hoax?! – I gasped. – It… it was real?

\- Lemon batteries are indeed real, my dear. – He smiled, showing the screen which showed the icon that my phone really started charging.

\- Oh, Erik, you are a God-gifted genius and I love you! – I jumped in his arms, and kissed him on the cheeks numerous times.

\- Oh ho, Erik did not expect such an emotional outburst for a lemon battery, but he is happy to know he caused such a bliss to his little wife. – He kissed my forehead with a smile.

\- I did not know it was already a thing… - I looked at him in awe.

\- It is already a thing in the past 100 years, my love, experiments are using lemon juice and salt water to create electricity since 1800.

\- Did you not invent it? – I pointed at the lemons.

\- Not everything is invented by Erik, my dear, he is only using others inventions many times, or working to make them better.

\- Maybe you think me silly now. – I blushed, being a bit of ashamed of not knowing such a thing. I sometimes felt so uneducated compared to Erik, no matter how much I loved to read in general, I was never good or interested at scientific subjects at all, and I always felt ashamed of my extremely limited knowledge of that field, especially me, the child of the future, and now it comes out Erik and his contemporary people know a lot more of a thing "of the future" I just kept using without knowing it at all.

\- Don't be ashamed of things you may not know. – Erik stroke my hair. – The matter is just walk with your eyes open and do your best to learn something new every day. Accept new things, and learn from old masters. That way you can't go wrong.

\- I used to think earlier centuries were much less developed than… mine.

\- All young people think the elders know nothing modern because the young improve old inventions. Yet they don't realize the thing they "invent" was already existing.

He laughed out and kissed me again. I was so happy and felt Erik was always able to explain me everything the way I could understand and relate to it.

Though I had to face there were things in which we still did not agree. It wouldn't be a problem in itself, as there are always things even a couple disagrees in, but there were a bit too much of them in our relationship, and they were a bit too crucial subjects: working, children, and Erik's masks.

Regarding the "working" part I mean he was trying to save e from literally everything. I got used to him being a total gentleman and not letting me carry any heavy things, and I could agree with that part as well, because he was mostly considering my health issues with my eyes. Good. But the fact he was considering to hire a maid once we returned to Paris did bother me a lot.

\- Why do you want to hire a maid? – I frowned after he announced it to me during relaxing in the evening in bed.

\- Because it is a big house with lots of work, and I don't feel like doing housework any longer. I was a bachelor for at least 30 years, I have enough of laundry and cleaning the toilet.

\- And what I am for then?

\- Do you think I would let you do such things?

\- Why? The gold ring won't slip off of my finger if I clean, I like to clean.

\- Wives of higher than a certain social rank will never do housework. You should know it by at least your books of this time period.

\- But I am not a baroness. You told me we were no aristocrats.

\- Upper middle class. – He informed shortly. – And you may believe me that no wife of a doctor, lawyer or an architect would hand wash her husband's shirts. All of them have maids to do it for them. And I am an architect, technically, or a businessman. Choose which one you like. You are the wife of an upper middle class man, and you ought to act like your rank indicates it and not clean the floors of your apartment on your hands and knees like a Cinderella.

\- And do you honestly like the thought that a stranger girl is going to wash your undergarments? – I frowned. – I'd hate if someone I don't know touched my intimate objects.

\- It is common here. – He shrugged. – I don't see the problem. I am not going to interact with her, her opinion and thoughts matter nothing to me.

\- If you don't like housework, why did you not hire someone earlier?

\- Under the Opera? – He pointed at me sarcastically. – That would have been a nice scenario.

\- No, I mean before.

\- I had servants in Persia. It was a much welcome change that I was saved from the activities I always disliked to do.

\- But if I am not even allowed to take care of you and act like a wife, then what is my use at all?

\- Erik can easily take care of himself. I have already told you I did not search for a maid. I married you because I love you. And it is a bit of pitiful if a woman can only imagine housework of her main use. You are clearly not made for standing by the stove all day.

\- But then what should I do?

\- The things you were doing up until this point as well. – He pointed out. – Play the piano. Compose. Learn languages. Read. Enjoy life.

\- You might be right. But do you promise you will let me become a mother once?

\- Yes, we adopt a child once. – He nodded gracefully. – I promised.

\- Great. – I grinned. – You will teach him to everything.

\- Yes, and when he turns old enough I send him to a boarding school far from Paris and he is only coming home in school holidays.

\- Erik! – I gasped, hoping he was only kidding. I had to realize he wasn't.

\- It is a common practice. – He shrugged.

\- I am not adopting a child just to send him away and make him spend half of the year away from us.

\- He is going to spend the other half of the year with us, isn't it enough?

\- We are going to discuss it further once we adopted him. – I sighed, seeing he won't listen this time. – But… now it comes to mind, if we hire a maid it means you… you have to wear a mask at home as well?

\- For the time she comes, yes.

\- Damn!

\- Language.

\- I hate your mask.

\- Why? – He asked desperately. – Why do you hate it so much, reason it a t least!

\- It looks nothing like you!

\- It is the POINT of it.

\- I know but I feel like I am walking with a total stranger unless you speak.

\- Juti. Please. That girl is only coming once a week. One day of seven. You can bear that, can't you?

\- If I must… - I sighed.

\- What if I make another mask? – He offered in a placatory gesture.

\- I don't know. – I admitted. – If it looks more like you…

\- It should not look like me, but… well, we will find something out. – He kissed my forehead. – Is Erik's little wife still angry at Erik?

\- I wasn't even angry, but… in some things we disagree too sharply.

\- I guess… if we have a maid that comes just once a week, it is not bothering Juti, does it?

\- No. – I smiled. – You know… I am actually happy I don't have to clean windows. – I chuckled. – I am afraid of climbing on a ladder.

\- I know. – He kissed my neck playfully. – And Erik doesn't want your delicate little pianist hands, so white, so fragile, to bathe in dirty water and get dry of the chemicals. They don't deserve such a rough treatment, my lady. – He picked up my hand and examined it with such a loving glance I could nearly cry of being so touched. He gently kissed my hand, then looked up at me with love.

\- And does it mean you hire a cook too? – I asked.

\- No. – He shook his head. – I like to cook for you and myself, it is not a big deal.

\- We are a strange couple. – I admitted with a short laugh.

\- True, but I like it as it is. – He lay down comfortably with a yawn.

\- Me too. – I smiled and snuggled up against him to sleep. I was happy we weren't fighting this time. Even if we disagree, we can make up compromises.

In the middle of the night I suddenly felt I was tossed away and Erik jumped up from the bed, and in the next moment I felt his bony hand gripping and shaking my shoulder in hurry.

\- Juti… Juti, wake up!

\- Whaaaa… what happened? – I yawned, blinking sleepily. He never woke me up so vehemently at night.

\- The mask! – He sat me up in excitement and turned me to face him.

\- What mask…? – I really needed some time to realize what he was talking about.

\- Listen dear, Erik found out the solution. You once showed me a picture of a man wearing only a mask on one side of his face.

\- Yes. – I nodded.

\- And you said it was Erik.

\- Yes, the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, you know. But you want to wear a half mask?

\- Of course not. It isn't helping too much, is it? – He shook his head. – No. But you said the other side of his face was Erik's real face, was it?

\- Yes.

\- Do you associate that voice with the character of Erik?

\- If I have to picture you with a… normal face than yes. – I nodded.

\- Great. – He kissed my forehead and helped me back on my pillow then lay back beside me. – I found the solution, I think.

I smiled as I lay my head back down on Erik's chest and he hugged me close to himself. Maybe that new mask won't be so alien…?


	5. Huge Improvement

_Erik_

 _I simply could not sleep more after the idea hit me, so I waited until Juti fell back asleep, then carefully and unnoticeably I got up to dress up and get the necessities to work on my new mask. It is all the same for me what kind of a face I call as my own, if God gave me such horrid features in reality, I can't be picky about my appearance. Everything is much better than my original skull face. I wanted to hurry to get done with it by morning. Thankfully I now learned how to put Juti's phone in silent mode, so she won't wake up to an accidental sound it may give out while I try to examine that Monsieur Crawford for the most realistic outcome. I did not need to light a lamp, sometimes my deformity comes in handy, I have to admit I thought it was useful, many times when I had to see in the dark. It came useful when I was fleeing from somewhere at nighttime, when I had to sneak-kill someone in a poorly lit area and when I had to go around in the darkness of the cellars… actually I daresay this was the first time I used my ability to see in the dark to do something good for someone else._

 _While working on the mask, I had time to take a glimpse of my wife from time to time, sleeping peacefully in the bed of this room we rented for the night. It was strange how the fact where she was going to sleep every day was absolutely inessential to her, and she felt comfortable sleeping in any kinds of beds and she wasn't at all picky about rooms. I felt myself a fussy nobleman with her, as I always had expectations about the place we were going to stay at for the night, and it bothered me a bit that this little silly would even content herself with a barn, if I allowed that. Why, when she clearly did not belong there and she was used to much better circumstances? She was a child of the future, coming from a time offering her all the comfort I also found absolutely necessary nowadays, and as I saw some pictures on her phone she took in her own room in her apartment in future Hungary, I could see she wasn't lacking any comfort there either._

 _She owned equipment I wasn't able to identify on the photos, for example a huge grey box placed on one of the shelves on the huge white cabinet she had, or the smaller red and black box above the huge gray one, but they were visibly hooked to each other by some wires, so they might work together some way. This was the first time I got curious and truly interested in those modern times. I am sure there were many things I'd have to learn if I just happen to get there somehow. Juti also keeps using words I don't always understand, but she mostly explains them if she realizes she used a new word. For example I haven't yet seen an iPod, but I already know it is a machine they use solely to listen to music, and it is able to store less music than a phone, but it has better music quality. Juti admitted once or twice that if she knew the time travel will be successful she'd have packed and brought her iPod, Kindle and laptop with her too, and those things would already suffice. I can't wholeheartedly imagine why someone needs so many electrical equipment just for the same things she is doing, as she is able to listen to music on the computer as well, I am sure she would not need the other device on top. She also misses the internet, and she jokingly remarked I shall receive a Kindle for Christmas, so that we don't need to carry so many books with us if we are travelling somewhere. Though the idea of having thousands of books in one machine with you sounds appealing to me, I don't really like what the suggestion means… I am sure this one isn't intended to be our last journey together according to her imagination and plans then?_

 _I am glad she is accepting the terms of the time period she got into, slowly but steady. I do not blame her, the poor girl. She was used to other cultural circumstances and society standards, and she, I think, feels useless and unsafe sometimes, knowing I do not let her indulge in filthy everyday processes, and I would more like to keep her in the role of an upper middle-class housewife, not a lower-class maid. I know what she feels, as most likely I would have needed much time to get used to her modern world if we were in a reversed situation, of course, she needs time to get used to this century, and she started a new life when she agreed to be my wife. My… wife…_

 _Anyway, I am going to guard and guide her, help her with everything she needs and make her get used to everything easily. It is my job to make her feel as comfortable and happy as it is earthly possible… as her husband it is my job and duty to make her happy, to entertain her, to protect her and to make her feel loved._

 _The next step in our marriage on the road of making her delighted is to make a mask which satisfies her in any way. She really ought not to feel like she was talking to and walking with a stranger, and as she linked Monsieur Crawford's looks with Erik's character, I believe this is the closest possible compromise we can make between wearing and not wearing a mask. To the outside world, I shall look like Monsieur Crawford, and to her, I can show my real face when it is just the two of us present in a room._

 _The mask will be done by morning. And I am sure she won't have to wait for too long to the night I will try to make her happy in every possible way, and show her how much a husband loves his wife…_

 _I feel better in general. It won't be a problem… hopefully._

 **Juti's POV**

\- Oh ho! What are you doing, sweetness? – I heard Erik's voice behind my back while II was working hard to concentrate on writing the letter in the morning after having breakfast.

\- Writing. – I smiled.

\- Why are you writing by left, you are right-handed? – He chuckled.

\- You may laugh but I found out it is easier to use left hand for writing in Farsi, as you are writing from right to left. I prefer to do it like this.

\- It was the only way I always wrote in every language, so I did not think this through with right handed point of view, but you are right. – He nodded with a smile. – So you are writing to the Daroga.

\- Yes. I really shall send out a letter already, I haven't written to him since we left.

\- I bet he is eager to hear from me. – He pouted a bit of sarcastically.

\- Would you proofread my letter once I finish? – I asked, not paying attention to his self-loathing little remark, yet again. – I don't wish to send out a letter containing too much spelling errors or mistranslations. I am not yet that good with the language, but I wanted to make him happy by writing on his native.

\- With pleasure, my dear. – He smiled again, finally.

\- Thanks, Erik dear, what I'd do without you? – I blew a kiss his way and caught him blushing.

\- I am happy you find Erik… es-es-sential to your… e-e-existence. – He stuttered cutely nervously like a schoolboy.

He paused as he noticed he started stuttering, because he hated that more than anything and forcefully tried to overcome it, making himself talk noticeably slower to get rid of stuttering. Also, he caught up a singing-like accentuation if he tried to get rid of stuttering, which made his beautiful voice sound even more like music. I caught his hand as he passed me and stroke it with my thumb, which made him release a delighted little sigh.

\- Erik is the best thing to happen to me in all my life. If I had to do the time travel again, I'd do everything the same way.

\- Are… are you… sure? – He turned back to fce me with a jawdrop, and leaned closer.

\- Entirely. – I nodded with a huge smile and leaned really close to his ear, then whispered "I love you" in his right ear, which gave him an emotional outburst instantly.

At first he just gave me a tight hug, squeezing me close to himself, then he happily kissed my cheeks, and tried his best to fight back a fit of crying.

\- You don't know… how much this means… to me… - He spoke softly – I was afraid you… weren't all happy here and you regretted the time travel… my dear girl… as you don't… exactly… belong here and…

\- I belong to wherever my husband is, and my husband is Erik. – I kissed his forehead. – I am the luckiest of phangirls to have the original, 100% accurate Leroux-version Phantom as a legal husband. – I giggled.

\- You little silly. – He shook his head, not really liking when I talked about POTO and the different versions, but he now understood and accepted it as my main hobby and did not get offended by my Phantom remarks, or spontaneous musical line quotations. On the contrary, he would mostly reply to the quote with another one or if I paused, he'd finish the original quote to let me know he memorized the script in this past one year we had spent together. – You imply that Erik has many phangirls, who "drool over his skinny body" yet I seriously doubt that. And even if I felt comfortable with women, I'd not want anyone else than you.

\- You can send me compliments on a strange but cute way. – I giggled.

\- Just as you can. We seem to be alike in this aspect.

He wanted to leave me alone to finish the letter, but I wished to ask him something which caught my eye the day before and was thinking about it most of the evening.

\- Do we plan to leave the city?

\- Yes, after we send out that letter, we shall travel to Ulm by the next train, then stay there for the rest of the day.

\- Shall we not have a break between two days of travelling? We did most of the journey so far.

\- No, we have to take the same amount of travelling backwards as well, we won't be home until damned Christmas.

\- I heard Christmas season is fantastic around here.

\- What else would you want? – He gasped with imitated annoyance.

\- Oktoberfest! – I spat out with a giggle.

\- You don't even like beer, and neither does Erik, too much. I only drink that if there is nothing better.

\- I wouldn't go there for the beer.

\- Of course, no one visits a beer festival for the beer itself, I pray.

\- I would go because of the music. – I admitted. – I love German music a lot.

\- You can't be serious. – He laughed out.

\- But yes. – I nodded. – Actually I only would want to dance with you.

\- You are quite an eccentric girl, do you know? – He hugged me closer to himself and laughed.

\- Maybe that is why you married me. – I grinned.

\- True. – He nodded, then kissed my forehead. – Among other reasons, I did… but… so you would like to dance with Erik?

\- Yes, you promised me back in Paris in February that you will take me to the Masked Ball, and you did not.

\- Oh, it is… true, but we don't need Oktoberfest for that. – He smiled at me. – If you really wish that, we can work something out, and I shall make you the happiest of women tonight. Please now finish the letter to the Daroga. Erik has to go to arrange the evening for her beautiful little wife and obey to her whim.

\- Won't it give you problems? I mean going out to meet people and…

\- Oh no no no dear. – He chuckled. – I have a surprise for you anyway, about going outside, but you shall only see it later. Be a good girl and stay here. Erik shall come back shortly, he is sorry for his absence in advance.

It was so unusual to see Erik agreeing so easily about taking me outside among other people and dance with me in front of others, just as I asked it. In two hours, he arrived back in our room with some lunch he had brought, but the strange thing was he entered the room without a mask. Was it possible he did not wear ANY kind of mask for outside? To my clueless facial expression, Erik only chuckled, as he must have read my mind yet again. I did not ask anything. If Erik acts this way, it mostly indicates some kind of surprise he was working on.

After lunch nothing interesting happened and seemingly Erik did not want to do anything again, he was just reading the Russian book which turned out to be Anna Karenina. I could read the title when he stopped covering it by his fingers.

\- That book had been worked on for 40 years. – I stated absently, remembering back some trivia I read once about the circumstances of the novel's working process. I loved to collect interesting but mostly unneeded trivia about things I was interested in.

\- It required a lot of research. – He nodded, not even looking up from the text.

\- Then what kind of research of 20 years did it require to write an opera about a one night stand? - I giggled, as I found it real funny, but in the next moment the book nearly hit me on the head, I moved away in the last second from its angle.

\- Don't dare to mock me again. – Erik shook his finger at me threateningly.

\- I was just kidding. – I gasped in a sudden fright, not because of the book in the first place, but because I successfully made Erik angry yet again. It was the first time I offended him seriously since the wedding. – I am sorry. – I whispered.

\- No… don't be… - Erik went on his knees and caught my hand penitently. – It is Erik… Erik is sorry it is his fault, only his…

\- You still think I would mock you directly, and… and… you don't trust me…?

\- Oh no, no it is not that. – He shook his head desperately. – Erik lost his mind, he was too deep in reading and did not think what he was doing, oh forgive me, my angel… do forgive…

\- Don't throw things at me. Ever. Again. – I looked into his eyes deeply while leaning closer, but did not kiss him this time. Erik was shaking with fear and remorse as he was squeezing the hem of my dress and nervously twirling it between his fingers.

\- Never… - He could hardly produce any sounds, I could only hear him because I have a good hearing.

\- Not even if I say something you don't like. – I pointed at him a bit of accusingly.

\- No… - He bit his lips anxiously, shaking from head to foot like a leaf.

For some reason I got a bit of tired of his acting, that I wasn't even allowed to joke with him about Don Juan without needing to fear of risking an injury. This aspect of our relationship was yet to be made to the better, and very soon. I just patted his shoulder as he was kneeling on the floor, then freed myself from his grip. He was grasping the air for some moments as my dress was taken from him, but he did not grab me again.

\- Will… Juti leave Erik? – He was really so scared I feared he was going to lose his voice if I don't calm him a bit.

\- No. – I shook my head. – Not for a book at least. But I will go out for a bit to have some fresh air.

\- And you would not wish Erik to follow you. – He finished the sentence softly.

\- Not really. – I admitted.

\- Please don't go too far away and take care. – He stood up from the floor and just stood there, in the middle of the room, motionless.

I was sorry for him for a few seconds, looking at him, as he stood there and I could easily say all his muscles were stiff, and maybe I did not hear it right, but he was silently crying. I knew though, that we needed some alone time, both of us. I walked out of the room and closed the door, then walked downstairs and out to the street. I just aimlessly was walking up and down in front of the inn, and was looking at the carriages passing around, the people walking, and some cute dogs which were following some ladies.

I was sure I wanted to stay with Erik, but the sudden rage and throwing his book at me, which showed the remains of his terrible temper, did make me upset a bit. No, I did not expect Erik to never get angry, anymore, and I did not expect his temper tantrums to go away just for a snap of a finger just because we got married, but this was just too sudden and too vehement for my taste. At least he could have thrown that damned book to another direction, I am not against him throwing things in his fury, just not at me, so I could be sure he did not want to hurt me, but he had a perfect aim about hitting me. I knew he was honest about feeling sorry instantly about his action, but it wasn't the right way to commit a sin and after feeling sorry for that, but NOT to commit one and think before he acts.

Yet I have to agree he was changing, slowly and steady: he trusted me enough not to grab me and fight with me to keep me in the room with him when I stated I needed a walk. The earlier version of him would not give me such a freedom, as he would be too much frightened to lose me forever. He wasn't entirely sure now either, that I was going to return, yet he let me leave. He is certainly not hopeless.

Some time passed and I just wanted to go back to our room after cleaning out my head, but suddenly I saw a man descending the stairs and heading to the dining room of the inn. That man was Erik, for sure. I have never seen this new mask on him before, but I already knew it was him, though he passed me hurriedly, and he did not seem to notice me, I recognized Michael Crawford's Phantom face, on a full face mask, and he was wearing a dark brown wig similar to the one in the musical. Though I was happy for his new disguise, as it was the image of the true Erik with a normal face for me, I did not like the fact he was heading to drink. I knew many people were drinking there usually and Erik rather brought us some meal than taking me to that area, full of drunken people and smoke. I did not have to disappoint, sadly, as I heard his rich tenor, rather brokenly though, saying something in German, to what he received a huge bottle of something. If he drinks that all, I don't know what will happen, but God have mercy, as he turns aggressive after drinking a lot. I maybe should stay here to make him stop acting up, if needed? So that is what we were going to get through yet again? Will I have to need to deal with Erik's drunkenness on the top of everything?

This is how you are working on a conflict, always?

 _Erik_

 _I am already sitting here with this damned bottle of whisky, after asking something strong to settle my mind, for more than 45 minutes without opening it. It is a record with me actually, if I want to drink, especially after such events. I am not even sure I want to drink anymore. It seemed to be a nice solution, just as before, to get something strong, and drink myself to a state where I don't remember anything terrible which happened…_

 _But this is where problems are always about to start. I was just an asshole, by losing my temper, and I could not calm down in the room, without Juti, so I just came here to drink…_

 _Do I really NEED spirits to survive?_

 _It is my life story, I have had problems with this goddamned alcohol from time to time, and getting drunk was always my idea of solving my problems. Thankfully I never recall the things I do in public after drinking myself to unconsciousness or memory loss. Otherwise I think I always would feel even more shame about myself, as I am a hundred percent sure there were multiple occasions people could tell stories about my drunken acts in Paris, or anywhere else._

 _Let us just recall the latest action of mine, when I somehow managed to BREAK my left hand and lose my human mask and got imprisoned for vandalism. HAVING A FIANCÉE while that!_

 _Now that I have a wife, to top the mistake I have already made, do I honestly need to make matters worse by making Juti disgusted and creeped out by a drunk and after a hangover husband by her side? Really? Isn't it enough I nearly threw the goddamned book at her, now am I really expecting her to bear my presence as a stinky drunk aggressive idiot and make her hold my head while throwing up tomorrow? Where was my mind while thinking about this solution? What am I doing?_

 _This can't go on like this and I should really NOT touch this drink._

 **Juti's POV**

I can't believe my eyes! I was trying to keep an eye at Erik as he sat down with his drink at a table, and see what comes out of this in the end. At first he did not touch the bottle by even a finger, not even after an hour, and I did not know if it is just he needed a lot of time to open it, or he did not want to drink at all, but after an hour and 15 minutes, he stood up, grabbing the bottle.

I cautiously walked closer to the door of the room to see the happenings better, being absolutely clueless. He went to a further corner of the room, to a table, where he noticed a guy sitting with an empty glass.

\- Haben Sie so? – The beautifully trained and angelic voice rang in my ear, as he leaned close to the guy.

\- Na sicher! – The man nodded.

\- Sei mein Gast! – Erik turned away from the table and walked towards the door, and me, though he gave out a deep sigh.

I could hear the guy cheerfully yelling "Thank you!" in German, this was the only thing I understood of the words spoken so far, but I was so happy Erik did not have the bottle in his hand any more.

When he arrived outside I could not resist, but unexpectedly jumped into his arms, which he acknowledged with a frightened little gasp, but once he realized it was me, he hugged me tight to himself.

\- You came back! – He cheered, not wanting to believe his eyes.

\- And you did not drink! – I hugged him tighter. – I am so proud of you!

\- Are you…? – He looked at me with his yellow eyes wide open in surprise.

\- Yes! I love you and I am proud of you! You are awesome…

\- For… not drinking? – He scratched his dark wig, puzzled.

\- Yes! Yes! – I kissed the mask in happiness, on his cheeks. – I expected you to… - I explained.

\- Oh… - He smiled slowly, laughing a bit of insecurely, but getting into a better mood slowly. – Erik's wife is proud… of him… did you forgive… him?

\- Completely. – I nodded. – You are changing!

\- Is Erik not a terrible husband to Juti?

\- Erik is the best husband ever. – I smiled and kissed his forehead reassuringly.

\- If it is so… let us get back into our room so Erik can remove his mask and Juti can kiss him the way Erik shall actually feel it? – He giggled a bit naughtily.

\- I love your new mask. – I caught his hand, leading him back upstairs as he still wasn't quite sure he wasn't dreaming, and had trouble walking securely.

\- Thank…. You… - He smiled. – I made it to make you happy.

\- You always do. – I nodded.

\- A… Always…?

\- Yes. Minor incidents happen, but you are fine. – I reassured. – We will work everything out, and you are a great husband no matter what.

Truly, I was sure if we have a fight or misunderstanding, we will be able to work it out, and Erik finally worked out a solution to handle conflicts other way than drinking. Now I was sure we will be fine, whatever happens, we can solve it without bigger drama.

Our marriage is going to be a normal and happy one. He is clearly making efforts.


	6. Simple gestures of Love

**Juti's POV**

Nothing interesting happened in the evening after we returned to our room. Erik did not take me to dance, though I wasn't in the mood for that anyway, and neither was he, as I noticed. We spent the evening together, quietly cuddled up, and I finished reading the Hobbit to him. We went to bed and nothing else happened… or so I thought.

I woke up to Erik's voice, he was saying some cute endearments to me, calling me "Dearest little wife" the "meaning of his existence" and "his little singing bird", but as I reached out to pet him, he was nowhere in the bed. I sat up and realized he wasn't in the room. At first I imagined he was performing ventriloquism as he adored to entertain me with it, especially that I complimented and admired his technique a lot, but his voice did not come from the walls or any of the objects in the room, but my phone on the end table. As I checked on the screen I noticed it was an alarm sound going on, Erik had made a sound recording and set it as an alarm clock ringtone. I found the idea very kind and cute, but just by the time I thought there was nothing more than a few kind words he recorded to wake me up, I fell to another surprise.

" _Now you are most likely awake, sweetie" – Erik's charming voice, which wasn't even too much altered by the phone's speaker, continued to talk to me – "And now that you are awake I can tell you the reason I recorded my voice on your device. This take I am recording this, is the third one, and I do hope I will not fail as I did with the earlier two tries, but if I do, please forgive your little husband. You know well that Erik is not the man of words and he is afraid he can't express his feelings as much as you'd need them to be told, but now I am going to tell you what I think and feel about you and me._

 _Simply: I love you. I know it is not much, and I know it is not worded the most perfectly, but I feel I could write a confession of love in a length of an Opera libretto and it still won't be enough – and anyway I prefer simple things in general. Maybe I know I could tell you this more, but… you know it anyway and I am not used to repeating things over and over, but for you I'll do now: I love you, I love you, I love you, and I love you times infinity as I am tired of telling it so much. "_

A small chuckle and some pause came on the recording, and I could almost see him sitting and trying to collect his thoughts. The background noises indicated Erik went outside, as I could hear some further noises of music when he wasn't talking.

" _I wish to tell you that I love you more than music and my own life, and that you are the best wife ever. I know I can't really compare you to any other woman I had affairs with, as there were none at all, save for that miserable attempt of forcing my emotions on a kind girl… well you already know that story. Now though, that I am loved for myself, I feel that I am the happiest of men, and nothing can change my mind about I am a lucky fellow. God finally listened to my prayers and desperation when he sent you my way, just in time. You are turning me to a much better person and help me to defeat my inner demons and monster self, and the biggest proof of it was yesterday… with you I don't feel like committing stupid sins anymore. You are so good, an angel, helping me in every way possible. Thank you for being here with me. I told you this in a recording because I wished to say it somewhat closer to in person than in writing, and because you told me many times you loved to hear my voice, but I was nervous I started stuttering or could not word my sentences face to face. It is easier for me to record my thoughts in such a way. And besides… whatever happens to me, maybe… you at least will have a sample of my voice to remember your loving Erik._

 _To sum it up: I love you and you are the kindest, sweetest, most charming little lady I have met, and I love your silliness. Don't worry about anything. Whatever happens, I will always love you and be with you. Even if I shall die, my spirit shall follow you and watch over you as a guardian angel."_

At this point I could hear he was nearly crying, but in the end he fought it back and cleared his throat, but he added:

" _Now go practice my dear, the violin is at the side of the small table. I am gone, and will most likely only return by noon. Your most loving and loyal husband: Erik"_

I was so touched by his confession he left for me and I nearly cried as well, especially about the part where he briefly mentioned his death. I knew he had a morbid sense of humor and a weird dark way to confess his love, but still it was sad to think of his passing. I can't even imagine what I would do without him, and sadly as there are 21 years of age difference between us to his advance, I am sad and terrified to think of the likelihood of the scenario of he will go first…

I had no idea why he ordered me to go practice, he did not actively order me around about practicing any instruments before, as he explained once, if he did, he would be too bossy about it, and he did not wish to turn out as a tyrant about making me work, and he explained I should feel the need myself to practice, as a true musician does not have to be ordered around and nagged to improve their skills, if the urge comes, a person obeys. It was unusual, so I got a bit of suspicious that he wanted me to open the violin case for some reason.

As I opened the violin case, I laughed out. The violin, Erik's precious violin which could not even be placed just on a table, and I was only allowed to take it out of its case when he was around as well, was missing from the protective storage and it was replaced by a bouquet of pink roses. I picked out the flowers and kissed one of the beautiful small plants. I put them in a smaller bottle of water, as the inn did not furnish the rooms with vases, but I wished to preserve the roses for as long as I was able to. I took a picture of them both in the violin case and in the "vase" to have memories of them when they slowly wither away… and again it made me remember what Erik said about his death and I was silently crying for some minutes.

I knew though, that I should not make Erik upset by worrying about something so silly and I did not want to show him I was sad or frightened, especially not after such a morning and so kind surprises. I wanted to occupy my mind by playing music, so I decided I was going to search for the violin. Erik had to keep it somewhere in the room. I checked all of the suitcases, but it wasn't put in either of them, and neither it was in the nightstand, so I guessed he took it with himself for some reason. It wasn't likely without the case, but maybe.

I picked up my phone and mindlessly was browsing through the files, and just relaxing on the bed. Suddenly I had an idea. To settle my mind from worry, I picked up a stack of paper and a pen, to write something to Erik in return for the recording and the roses. I did a music riddle for him in which he had to pick notes out of the context and it gave away a melody in a melody, giving out the Don Juan Triumphant" theme of ALW musical, but it wasn't too obviously composed in the main theme, so he will have to work his musician magician brain a bit to get what I meant. On the bottom of the page I inserted a winking smiley and a heart. I inserted the paper inside of his violin case so if he happens to put away his precious, he will find it.

When he returned home, the violin wasn't with him though, so he did not bring it with him… or… did he not return it?

\- Did you forget or sell it? – I asked with much surprise, after I kissed him as he returned.

\- Sell what? – He tilted his head to the side as he did not understand what I wanted to ask. He was seemingly in a good mood, which was surprising if he had to sell the violin… I thought it would give him a heartbreak.

\- Your violin. – I pointed out. – Its case was occupied by the beautiful flowers.

\- It is under the bed. You aren't looking at the most obvious place?

\- You are hiding your precious under a bed?

\- YOU are my precious. – He pointed at me with a smile.

\- And the violin. I wasn't even allowed to touch it without you for a time. – I teased.

\- You weren't my precious back then, but you are now, and you can do whatever you want to with the violin. I know you would never harm it anyway.

As he opened the case and reached under the bed to pack away the instrument I was already grinning with happiness and was waiting when he will find out my message. He found the paper and started reading the music, sending a quick glance to the bottom of the page, and he looked up again with a knowing little smile. He already found out there was a trick in it he had to find out. It was only two minutes by the time he whistled the solution, giving away he understood the hidden message. He said nothing else, just showed a thumbs up, but I giggled, knowing it was actually a praise.

\- This evening we are going out. – He informed shortly. – Wear the pink- lavender dress with white lace.

\- Why?

\- Because you look beautiful in it. – He admitted with a blush, which he tried to disguise by slightly turning away and covering his face.

\- What do you have in mind? – I leaned closer, playfully examining his features.

\- You are going to find out. Patience.

\- I am impatient.

\- So am I, we are the perfect couple.

He did not say any other thing, he seemed to be a bit of lost in his thoughts or slightly uneasy. When I asked him if he was all right, he just hugged me, and gave a short and soft kiss on my forehead with a nod. As I sensed, he was a bit uncomfortable about the thing which we were going to do in the evening, but he seemed to be excited at the same time. I was curious to find it out.

As I dressed up for the night and looked into a mirror, I had to admit I looked somewhat beautiful, really, so at least Erik can be a bit of proud of his wife's appearance beside him, and show off. He admitted he felt safe with me, he dared to do many more things since I was with him, which filled my heart with joy.

My dear skeletally thin, but otherwise lifelike Michael Crawford was waiting for me, dressed in formal wear, and ceremoniously bowed towards me when I showed up. He reached out his hand and sighed in relief when I took it. It was so cute and unbelievable he still could feel relief and happiness he could hardly disguise whenever I accepted if he offered his hand. I knew it was a major turn off for Christine in the book, and a major hurt for Erik about a love interest, but I was already his wife, he had nothing to lose anymore.

He took me to dance! The huge room was filled with many couples, dressed in the nicest formal, but colorful clothes, the crowd reminded me of the people I saw at the Opera when we visited the Opera house with Erik to watch Tales of Hoffmann, which instantly gave me pleasant memories. I think Erik was the same way, as he smiled at me and nodded, just as if he again read my mind, but it was his forte, most likely he did.

\- I hope you will be delighted… Erik has to admit this is the first time he… he is among such circumstances and… well. Here we go. Enjoy yourself.

\- So it means you are going to dance with me as you promised?

\- Will at least attempt to do so. – He worded cautiously.

\- Don't worry, I don't really know what to do either. – I tried to ease his pain.

\- Well, until that comes… we have some time to practice. May I have the first dance?

\- Until what comes? – I inquired.

\- Nothing. – He shook his head nervously, taking my hand. – So. Concentrate on the steps.

\- If I step on your foot will you be angry?

\- Not really. – He shrugged. – Unless you do it repeatedly on purpose. – He added. – But maybe you could just stand on my shoes the whole time so you won't step on it again. – He chuckled finally, starting to relax.

Waltz was rather easy to dance to, without even knowing anything of it, and Erik, contrary to he stated he never danced with someone, was fine, save from some occasional shyness and his hands trembling. No one was watching us, so we could relax and pay attention to only each other. Erik's mask made him blend in perfectly, though beneath the mask he was still my crazy and insecure but cute Opera Ghost. His gestures and acting remained the same and the new mask did not make me feel anymore that I am walking with a stranger who moves and acts like Erik.

\- You are a cinnamon roll. – I smiled and whispered in his ear as he was finally as close to me as I always wanted, for a long time.

\- I never thought someone would tell me such a compliment. – He closed his eyes. – Especially not my living wife… whom I adore.

\- You are a great dancer, contrary to your inexperience. – I went on.

\- Please don't embarrass me, I am going to miss the steps. – He chuckled. – And… so are you. – He added. – I did not dare to hope it was such a marvelous feeling to hold you in my arms like this and dance with you. I thought… I thought I'd hate to dance.

\- Me too. – I admitted. – But it sounded romantic to be in a closer contact with you. And music is most certainly helping.

\- It is. – He agreed with a nod.

At first the conversation turned to be a bit awkward, but after Erik was sure he did not mess anything up, he finally started to relax, and wasn't as easily embarrassed, and was able to take compliments, and give them, finally.

\- You look stunning, my lady. – He bowed as the dance came at an end.

I thought there weren't any bigger surprises for the night. How wrong I was!

 _Erik_

 _When that ONE special music started playing, Juti could not start dancing right away. She unintentionally fell out of the role of a serious lady taken to a ball, she was again that sweet little girl I adore, she could not help herself, but acknowledged one of her favorite pieces with a gasp, and her beautiful brown eyes popped tight open, and so did her mouth. This was instantly followed by a heartfelt giggle, and only to my mild patting on her shoulder succeeded in making her collect herself and join me to that final dance I was willing to have during the evening._

 _Yes, I knew that piece of music wasn't only one of her favorites- it was a special piece in her heart, which, with no doubt, changed her whole life. German dance by Wolfgang Mozart – the sleigh ride. That dance enchanted her on a music class at school when she was only 9 years old, and gave her the want and will to start to learn music, and graduate in that field. I was thankful to Mozart for one more thing, other than making my childhood and life livable – he accidentally showed Juti what she was talented in, and indirectly helped us to meet- Juti admitted to me she read Phantom of the Opera only because the musical subject at first. Her love for music flamed up because of this piece, and I wished to acknowledge that fact by choosing this particular music as the main attraction of the evening._

 _It required me some work, as this work was a lesser known one, of course the fools in the orchestra did not know it, so I had to give them sheet music, which, of course, had to be written down and copied by me, and of course, it meant they had to sight read. Thankfully they did not mess up. I hoped so at least they won't. In the end, seeing the spirit of that enchanted and cheerful 9 year- old little girl in her eyes, I know my efforts were well – paid and they did not seem to be as much as a pain as they were when I wrote pages of music, hunched over a table at a coffee nearby (of course I could not do it at home, she might have noticed). Those eyes were fixed at me with adoration, happiness and she was crying a bit, being so touched. Usually I hate when a beautiful woman cries because of a thing I did, but this time it only made me happier and surer I did the right thing._

 _When the music ended and we stopped, she hugged me tighter than she usually did, and I could hear her saying "Thank you, my love"_

 _I think I have never been happier in all my life._

 _I am starting to learn one does not always have to buy expensive things to a woman if he wishes to make her happy. A gesture that means much to her for some reason, is enough to make her happier than if she just received a precious bracelet or earrings. How easy is to make someone happy – and yet how easy is to make myself happy and content with the same amount of effort! I wish to spend our lives together this way- to find out what would make her happy and after do it for her when she expects it the least._


	7. Help me make the Music of the Night

**Author's Note:**

 **NSFW content and fluff in great dosage. Please only read if you are above the age you are able to handle mature content of slightly and a bit more openly sexual topics and the hinting of them. It won't be too explicit, but better to be safe than sorry. Thank you! Enjoy.**

 **Juti's POV**

Honeymoon isn't called honeymoon for nothing after all.

This time of the marriage, right after the wedding, supposed to be the happiest for the couple, where they can get to know each other and spend so much sweet time together, and taste how love works. And this most certainly happened to us, especially after the night we spent with dancing together. Erik suddenly, holding me in his arms for a longer time and dancing with me in front of others, without any catastrophes happening, felt more comfortable and wanted more of intimacy.

Something seemed to change in him, some kind of inhibition finally broke, which was very hard for him to overcome. Even in public, he finally hugged me closer when we were walking, he cuddled up against me on a train without closing all of the curtains, and he loved to hold my hand when we weren't just the two of us. It bothered me before, to tell the truth, that Erik only took my hand and hugged me when we weren't among other people. I knew it was rude by Victorian morals to kiss in public even for a couple, but Erik treated me as his niece or something like that, only guiding me by ceremoniously holding my arm on the streets. Young married couples openly hugged and you could easily identify a husband/wife relationship with others – we did not so far, so I think, nobody thought us to be married just seeing us on the streets, walking together.

And when it was just the two of us, things changed to the better as well. Cuddling lasted longer, and he wasn't as passive as he used to be before, he did not only just let me snuggle up to his side, but he started petting my side, my back and kissed me repeatedly, and these slowly but steady turned to making out on the bed for some long minutes, filled with passionate kissing and petting each other more freely. I was allowed to pet his face more, and he showed me endless trust by letting me touch the area where his nose should have been. Of course, I was extremely careful, petting the edge of the hole with my finger, and thankfully it did not disgust him as it used to before. He was surprised though that I wasn't disgusted of it either and by the fact I wanted to touch it at all. He allowed me more things than before, I was allowed to sit on his lap for much longer periods of time and it did not bother him any more if I put my head on his lap , he started stroking my hair and ear absently if I did so. Earlier he would ask me not to do that. I felt now that he was indeed my husband, and he started to see me as a woman, finally, not only his cute little daughter he accidentally married. I did not wish to rush anything, but I was happy our relationship arrived to a new level.

It was time to make him a bit less bashful about his appearance and I wanted him to feel more comfortable in front of me, so I decided I won't be so bashful either, maybe it will help both him and me to relax about intimacy. Now that we felt relaxed with each other dressed up, it was time to remove some clothing. Nothing serious at first, or at least, not by my standards. By Victorian morals, of course, I'd be described as a whore if I stepped out of the house like that, but I only kept this appearance for Erik. I stopped wearing socks at home. I know, I know, there was a time at the House by the lake when I did so as well, but the main difference was I was wearing long pants which covered most of the sight anyway, and Erik would always warn me to put on sock or he forced slippers on me at least. Yes, it was underground with chillier weathers… but now in late summer- early Autumn I could at least pretend it was because of the hot weather. To make matters worse, I either wore breeches or in a dress I sat like he could see my legs. Showing ankles used to be his problem at the first time we talked after my illness? Well, now he can be thankful if I only show my knees!

Seemingly, he was surprised at first, but he did not start his mini rant about morals of XXI th century girls, and did not ask or order me to put on some decent clothing in his presence. On the contrary. A few days later I noticed he unbuttoned his shirt at his neck and rolled up his sleeves on both hands. I giggled and winked at him, sending the message I noticed and approved of his behavior.

\- If you are undressing, then I guess Erik is allowed to do so too. – He stated half-jokingly.

\- Absolutely. – I nodded with a smile.

I have never seen Erik's uncovered arms before. Even if he was in sleepwear he wore long sleeved nightshirt or PJS, so it was the first time I could see his skin had numerous scratch marks on his arm as well, and some marks indicated wrongly healed burns. There were some healed cuts on his right arm, dangerously close to his wrist, and by the angle of the position I was sure they weren't caused by an opponent. As he was a leftie, I knew they were caused by him.

\- Nice, eh? – He shook his head with a small snort, knowing exactly what caught my eye. – Well, this is one reason why Erik did not roll up his sleeves in front of Juti yet. Disgusting sight, is it?

\- No. – I put my hand on his shoulder. – Rather sad. Why?

\- Life. – He replied. – Life leaves marks on an unlucky fellow as I used to be.

\- Does it hurt? – I pointed at a rather nasty one, which seemed to be like a deep cut on his left, but as it was huge I doubted it was caused by a simple knife.

\- Physically, not anymore. – He stated.

\- I kiss it better. – I said with determination, leaning to his arm and kissing the scar.

He could not believe his eyes that I was able to kiss that spot, it really looked horrible. I think he felt like I will never accept all of his deformities or unappealing traits, no matter for how long I will be his wife, and that my eyes shall never ever meet the sight of all of his body. Seeing the huge amount of doubt in his eyes, I felt it was time to kiss it better emotionally as well.

\- I love you. – I stated, leaning close to his face, looking into his eyes. – With all your life and its marks. Never be ashamed of your scars in front of me. Scars are beautiful. They represent a will to heal. A will to heal is awesome.

\- I have many- many more of them. – He pointed out seriously. – But… but you always know what to say to make Erik feel better. Thank you.

\- This is why I am your wife, to support my little husband.

\- Your little husband is the happiest and luckiest of men in the whole world. – He kissed my forehead. – To have you with him.

I thought we were going slowly from that point, just as slow as we were going up until that time, as Erik was so very bashful and socially awkward, I thought the next step will take months, or even a year to accomplish. How wrong I was! On a beautiful September night in Salzburg, after a long day filled with sightseeing and walking in that beautiful city, holding hands, the unimaginable thing happened.

It started innocently enough. Erik carried me to the bed in his arms and put me down, and we started cuddling and kissing, just as any day of the previous week. Yet suddenly I noticed an unknown shine in his beautiful glowing golden eyes I have never ever seen before. It lasted for only a split second, though I knew it was the right way to go, and I got braver. I reached out to pet him, and leaned closer to his ear, kissing it.

\- Oh, careful with my ears. – He warned a bit shyly, but I just playfully kissed his ear again. – Careful, please.

\- Why? – I asked. – Does it hurt?

\- No. – He replied. – I… I like it… I… do like it too much. If you understand what I mean.

\- Oh, if I knew it earlier! – I giggled.

\- Yes, it is my… weak spot… to call it that.

\- Your ears? – I shook my head with a giggle. – It is strange, I did not hear such a thing before.

\- I am not sure why it feels good if they are stroked, but… I love that feeling and…

\- And why is it a problem?

He did not reply for some moments, looking at me, into my eyes, then absently scratched his ear.

\- You are right. – He said seriously. – We are married. Why not?

Some moments still passed in silence, but after he looked at me again, he blushed. He stood up from the bed, pacing around for a time, as I could see, he was extremely embarrassed suddenly.

\- I don't mind if we don't do it right now, dear, I was just hinting I'd like it.

I tried to calm him as I did not want him to get too much stressed about my expectations towards him.

\- It is all right. – He came back to the bed, leaning closer to me again. His hands were trembling as he leaned closer and looked me in the eye:

\- But…are you sure that… oh God… - He turned bright red even by the mere thought, so he covered his face and was peeking at me through his long bony fingers.

\- Yes, Erik, I am sure. – I nodded and patted his shoulder reassuringly.

\- You want that to happen…?

\- Yes. Please.

\- Won't you… regret it later?

\- Why would I, when I love you?

\- It might hurt. – He swallowed nervously. – It can.

\- No worries. Please Erik… if you want it, then come and do it to me, I will like it.

\- Well… If you are sure… Erik will do his best… but please know I might not be able to do it… for the first try. I am nervous and when I am …. I might not be able to… make it work.

\- Relax, Erik, try to concentrate on the good things, will you sweetie?

\- All right. – He sputtered and nodded.

He knelt on the side of the bed next to me, yet at first he was clueless of what to do first. He straightened up his shirt collar in his total embarrassment, and I would have loved to laugh at him because of it. He tidies his clothing before undressing, oh the modest little schoolboy. He finally dared to touch me, he caressed my face by two fingers, and kissed my forehead. He then examined my facial expression if I liked it or not. I did, and wished to show him he could be a bit of braver. I really did not want to rush him or force him to make a move, but with this tempo, I think we will be here doing nothing even on the next New Year's Eve. Moreover, this face petting was way too much outdated, we were through this for a long time. I slowly ran my fingers through those few long locks of dark hair that fell down to his shoulders, my fingertips touching his neck. He shuddered. He kissed my cheeks, blushing, then gave a rather long and half braver kiss on the lips. It lasted a bit of longer when he finally closed his eyes and gave himself to the passion. He seemed to be a bit relaxed, and with a relieved sigh he looked at me and smiled.

\- Thanks. – He patted my shoulder. – You are sweet. Well… ummm…. So you want to… really…? To… ?

\- Yes, Erik, I still want to sleep with you.

He nodded and stood up from the bed.

\- Where are you going, sweetie? – I whined a bit playfully. – I miss you.

\- I am going to return shortly. – He said. – It is too… light in here. – He explained nervously and turned down the gaslight on the top of the table in the middle of the room. – I am unable to do it… in such a well – lit room. And, I am sorry to ask such a thing of you, but… but would you do Erik a favor?

\- Whatever you wish it is granted. – I reassured him.

\- All right… please take off your… spectacles… before we do anything.

\- Oh, do you want to cover my eyes?

\- I am sorry to say that, but maybe I won't need it… with your eyesight… you see… well… ummm…

\- Oh I understand. You don't want me to see you clearly.

\- Yes. – He whispered. – Will you do that?

\- Yes, if you wish.

I removed my glasses and put them on the end table next to me.

\- Here, are you satisfied? – I smiled.

\- Well, yes… much better. – He said. – Thank you.

\- Okay, then come here. – I opened my arms for a hug, but he did not come closer yet.

\- Just… a minute. I have to… get rid of my clothing.

\- Don't you wish me to help?

\- No. – He replied shyly. – I will… do it alone. I always do it… alone. By myself.

\- I wish to remove your clothes. – I laughed. – Pleeeease.

\- Maybe at another time. – He declined again. – I would not feel comfortable with it right now. I unbutton my pants since the age of two. I don't need help.

\- It is not about you needing help, but it is the exciting thing, my Erik, it is like I would unwrap a gift. – I chuckled.

\- Well, it will be delivered without package this time. – He did not want to change his mind, sadly. – Take it as a development that I am actually willing to undress. It never happened to me before. – He admitted softly.

\- Okay, but will you want to help me at least?

\- Oh… if you… wish… yes.

I found it strange Erik never removed his clothes before to have sex, but understandable with his usual shyness. And why to undress when he blindfolds the girl anyway? It was a huge step he did not do it right now. I could not see a thing, thanks to the fact I had to remove my glasses, but I heard some soft metallic knocking sound on the table, and I was sure he just placed the cravat pin and cufflinks there, which were followed by his pocket watch some moments later. Oh he could not help not to check it before putting it down, as I could hear the sound of the lid being opened then closed. He was such a maniac about time. He threw his waistcoat and shirt on a nearby chair and stepped out of his shoes to be able to remove his pants. When he just nervously tossed the pants further on the floor, he quickly, like a spider, climbed back on the bed, and put his trembling hands against the top button of my blouse. I did not wear a tie this time, so the only piece of clothing he had to remove were my shirt, a pair of pants and my underwear. Well, it took him some time, to tell the truth. He was a bit of uncomfortable at first, undressing and touching me. He asked multiple times if I was okay with it, and claimed that "to be touched by death's hands might be extremely disgusting and frightening." I had to calm him many times that I did not want anything more than to be touched by him. Poor Erik really wanted to please me and this fact slowly, really slowly overcame his fears and shyness in the end finally.

I did not get bored however, as he gently gave soft and shorter kisses on my neck and shoulder as he removed my blouse. Finally, a bit of independence. This made me brave enough as I touched his naked back and ran my fingers across his back and ribs, then my hand wandered down to his side and stomach. Though I could not see his body due to poor light and the lack of my glasses, I was able to feel his upper body was full of scars and scabs. Poor dear Erik, he was tortured so much in his life.

\- Does it hurt if I pet you here? – I inquired worriedly.

\- Not anymore. – He said. – Don't worry, if it is uncomfortable, I will ask you to stop.

He was very- very gentle at first, as he hardly dared to touch my body as it was finally exposed in front of him. I found it a bit of not righteous that he, thanks to his altered vision, could even see colors in the dark, and I did not see anything of his body. But I did not complain as I knew it would only scare Erik away, and I did not want that. Yet, he turned his head away, not to directly look at me for some minutes. We, of course, did not start it right away. Erik is a hopeless romantic, and paid attention to the right, or possibly a bit off too much amount of foreplay. To be honest, I liked this fact, as it could be seen that he did not do it to relieve his own urges only, but for me not to be in pain during the process. He was gently petting my body all over, my side, my breasts, my stomach and back mostly.

Sometimes his hesitant touches tickled me, which made the whole thing more enjoyable.

Suddenly, as I was stroking his hair at the back of his head, and the side of his face, he moved away from my touch though, nervously whispering:

\- Don't touch the mask…

Then instantly fell silent, realizing he did not have it on this time. Embarrassedly, he sighed and sat up in bed, penitently looking around.

\- Please I am sorry. – He stuttered. – Erik always wears it while… and he lost his mind…

\- Calm down sweetie. – I put my hand on his forearm, sitting up slightly, and gently pulled him back to hug me.

Thankfully, after some hugging, he got back into the mood and this little goof did not ruin the activity. Erik gently kissed my forehead and nose, and complimented what a sweet little nose I had. I thanked him, giggling.

\- I say so because it is so… you have a very nice little nose. – He touched my sides under my breasts, at both sides. – Do you remember what Erik likes…? – He whispered, so softly it was nearly inaudible.

\- Oh, you mean your ears? – I asked naughtily.

\- Well… yes… Erik loves it very much if… his ears are petted and massaged… it is a very good feeling for him… really… would you do it to him…? Please…? – His voice turned a bit of higher, and looked into my eyes with a hopeful expression.

\- But of course. – I touched and pinched his ear between two of my fingers and massaged it gently in small circles, clockwise. – Like this?

\- Yeah – yeah… - He nodded vehemently. – Go on… that's it… - He was licking and kissing my neck, moving down a bit continuously. After a time he went down to the region where I could not reach his ear any longer, but maybe he got brave enough already. Suddenly I chuckled as he licked my belly button. – You like that? – He lifted up his head.

\- Yes, it was just a bit of unexpected. – Indeed it was, as he acted like a nervous schoolboy and did not even imagine he could imagine doing something like this in bed.

\- Erik is full of surprises. – He said, while I bet, grinning, as I heard from his intonation.

\- And I like that about him. Very much so. – I stretched out a bit to reach the back of his head to pet him. He sighed in relief, then climbed a bit up to meet my eye contact. His face came centimeters away from my face and with a shuddering breath, he excitedly and passionately whispered:

\- Let me play something beautiful…

\- Do you really want to play the violin right now, come on….? – I asked with disappointment.

\- No, of course not… - He put his palm on my face gently. – You, my dear. I want to play you.

\- Meeee?

\- But of course. – He nodded naturally. – You are Erik's most prized and most beautiful instrument.

I smiled. Of course, Erik is an excellent musician and he measures everything by music, even love.

\- Well, play your serenade, Maestro. – I caressed his cheek.

\- Oh thank you for calling me Maestro, it is an honor.

He really touched me the way he would touch a violin or a guitar, he was petting me everywhere, even at places he did not dare to touch yet. I became braver as well, and touched him everywhere. He finally relaxed about being touched, though sometimes he put my hand away if I wanted to touch him on more sensitive areas, saying "Please not yet", but all in all, he was enjoying the petting, and I heard him starting to hum something. I wasn't sure he knew about it. Erik would hum something many times not even knowing he was singing. We petted each other for a long time, and we kissed. When I wanted to playfully scratch his back though, he politely but firmly asked me to stop. He did not do anything to me I did not like, he was trying his limits though, and always warned me nervously before doing something to tell him if I wanted him to stop. He even kissed my feet and sucked on my toes. It was funny, but still good. I kissed and licked his ears, as I knew now that it was his weak spot. Also the back of his neck was very sensitive, and he loved if I touched his inner thigh. He could not help, but gave out some small whimpering sounds if I touched him somewhere he liked, and I did the same. We were in a strange little harmony already. And he nearly drove me crazy when with his fast pianist fingers, he started to tease me with his index and middle finger, just like he was playing a trill on the piano. This made me give out a loud moan and he grinned.

\- Oh finally. – He stated. – It is hard to make you sound like this. But it worth.

I half chuckled, half cried out in pleasure as he continued to play.

Suddenly Erik got above me, halfway laying on top of me.

\- Here we go. – He stated. – Now I am… capable of it… finally. It took long I daresay.

\- Don't worry, dear, we did not hurry anywhere.

\- Erik is growing old. – He sighed. – Well, one more time I ask: are you sure?

\- I am. – I nodded. I wondered if it will hurt or not, and closed my eyes to be able to concentrate on something else if it does. I read in books that it only causes moderate pain for a moment. I handle pain well. I felt nothing for a time though. I wondered if he was already done and I felt nothing, or he did not start it yet. My body ached for him and I did not get why he did not start it yet. Did he change his mind? Will he stop just now?

\- What are you up to? – I opened my eyes and lifted my head up. Erik was on the other side of the bed, doing something I could not see.

\- Taking care of my children.

\- What?

\- Not to have them.

\- Wow, you don't say condoms are a thing yet!

\- They are. – He groaned. – But don't bother me please I need to concentrate.

I smiled at his grumpiness because I found out about his protection. I was at least happy that he did not chose the "I stop before it is too late" method. It was worse than Russian roulette. Yet I did not know if it will affect the way he feels things.

\- Erik, does it bother you if you wear it…? I mean if you would remove it, it would be more comfortable maybe…?

\- Erik always takes care. I don't wish to father a child. Sorry about that. – He turned back to me and gently pushed me down to the bed. He got on top of me again, and carefully tried to position himself. – Well… tell me if it hurts… as I will stop then. Erik will be careful, fast and gentle.

He put his hands on my shoulders and passionately kissed me on the lips. He tried his best to find the right position for himself, but before he could do anything, he moaned out loud and then nothing happened for a time. Was he in pain?

\- Erik…? – I called out as he did not move for some seconds and closed his eyes.

He sighed in annoyance and got off of me with a frustrated little snort.

\- God damn it.

\- Erik what is wrong? – I asked, not getting what his problem might be.

\- Finished early. – He muttered shamefully.

Oh… so he was indeed fast, just as he promised. TOO fast it seems. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to me, with a tired sigh.

\- It happens. I am sorry. – He added, not looking at me.

\- I am not mad, Erik. – I sat up, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. – Do you want to try again? Or not?

\- So… do you not think I… failed?

\- No. Let's consider it as a… rehearsal. What about this? – I kissed the back of his neck.

\- Well… all right. – He slowly turned to me again. – We try.

Soon we were hugging and kissing again, teasing each other.

The second act came faster than the first, as Erik was already aroused. He tried again to get inside me and he was successful. It wasn't painful as I imagined it to be, it was a bit uncomfortable at first, but it felt good in general, and Erik chose a lighter tempo for starting.

\- Did it hurt? – He asked with worry.

\- No, not at all. – I caressed his hair out of his forehead.

\- Good then. – He finally relaxed, knowing I wasn't in pain. – Will this pace be good for you at first? – He asked, moaning a bit.

\- Yes, dear, go on.

\- Good, but tell me if you… want me to stop. – He kept going on in the same tempo and I tried to move in the same rhythm with him. He seemed to like it, but not the fact I stopped giving out noises. This fact made him move deeper and as it still wasn't successful, he reached between us with one hand and played the piano on me yet again. Well this gave me enough pleasure to whimper again. – Good, that's what I like. – Erik kissed my neck. – An instrument makes sounds! It is your JOB!

My voice made him relax more and concentrate on his own pleasures, as he started breathing faster and he again sang something softly. It was nearly inaudible, but I could hear some of the melody which resembled a march. He gave smaller kisses on my forehead neck, shoulders and breast, and seemed to get tired of the earlier tempo as he stated in French, rather to himself than me:

\- Eh allons, allons…

He really went faster, and his fingers moved faster as well, on my stomach, causing me not only whimper, but moan louder. He nodded in agreement and delight, finally being comfortable enough to let his moans escape too. His current voice did not resemble his usual tone, it was much higher and somewhat softer. He nearly slipped into soprano sometimes, which made me grin. He breathed faster and faster, he sang fewer, yet he moaned or sighed more. With his breathing, the pace of the lovemaking got faster and faster too, which stimulated me to my breaking point. He suddenly got a bit slower.

\- P…p…presque…! – Erik stated, wheezing.

It was funny how he mixed languages now, totally losing control of himself, now he could only speak French. He just said "almost", which indicated he had not much time left.

He returned to the faster tempo a bit, but he was only able to keep it up for a few seconds as he abruptly stopped moving and grabbed my side. A bit of strongly he did grab me in his ecstasy, but it did not hurt me too much. He cried out, shuddered and his muscles stiffened as he could not enhance his pleasure, and slowly but steady his breathing slowed down, and put his head on my chest.

\- Szeretlek. – He sighed in his final relax. It touched my heart that he found it important to confess his love for me in Hungarian in this moment of complete euphoria. Oh he is so sweet!

\- Én is szeretlek, Erik. – I replied smiling affectionately, stroking his hair.

I suddenly sensed he was crying softly, hugging me.

\- E… Erik what is wrong? Why are you crying? – I gasped.

\- Nothing… nothing dear… - He sniffed. – You are the best instrument I have ever… had the fortune to play…

With this sentence he climbed up to meet the level of my face, and he showered me with kisses of affection and adoration, his tears flowing on my neck and face.

 **Erik's diary**

 _ **18**_ _ **th**_ _**September, 1882**_

 _What a night… what a sweet and beautiful night it was!_

 _I never dared to imagine I was able to experience and learn something more about intimacy. I thought I knew the things I needed to know already, and I thought I did not even like this activity. I thought… it was just a necessary bad act to keep men from going crazy with lust from time to time, while doing the emotionally emptiest thing on the whole world._

 _It was so predictable and mechanical every time I visited those women before, I could have cried from the emptiness it left in my soul. The usual damned routine!_

 _Bonsoir, Mademoiselle, I would like to use you tonight! Ask nothing about the mask. It is just what I like. Tie their hands, blindfold them, don't touch the mask, I repeat do not touch it, bend over, fine, enough. I did my business and felt nothing, only needed to tell them how they were mine and how I owned all of them, to show dominance. I did not even remove anything which wasn't necessary to remove. Paid, thank you. Au revoir._

 _I hated it. I wasn't even sure why people loved to do it so much, as seemingly anyone else liked it other than me. The only thing I felt with the slight relief was shame, disgust, self- loathing and emotional emptiness._

 _Up until now._

 _I know why I kept procrastinating it with Juti. I expected the same empty and disgusting happenings with her too, but I had to disappoint in a positive way, about many things. I never thought of the possibility, that I, as a 50 year-old "experienced" man, who had his first time in his twenties, can learn things from a girl who was clearly a virgin. I know she did not lie to me about it. She hardly dared to move and clearly she did not experience the happenings. I saw she was yet unsure and bashful a bit, though it was her, the tutor this time._

 _Now I learned it is not always a failure what I think it is, Juti was so understanding and supportive and sweet, I did not dare to think someone would be so kind to me about this subject. I was afraid even she will be grossed out by my body, but she touched my bare skin! She touched me as God created me, and she did not die! And did not say "ugh what scars" or "how cold you are, ew"…_

 _Any other women I had sex with were just doing their jobs for money._

 _This was not emotionally empty! On the contrary! And… I finally considered someone else's feelings… I felt that I finally had a PARTNER and not just a body I used for my pleasures. It was the first time I cared if I cause pain or not._

 _It was the most beautiful music I have ever played… even though she is too silent as an instrument. Erik has to find out a way to make her sound as she is supposed to sound, and Erik wasn't called the Angel of Music for nothing! He will learn how to play Juti, as he learned how to play every single instrument of the world. And Erik loves challenges._

 _I will show you, my darling, what a musician Erik is… keep being prepared of the Magnum Opus, my love!_


	8. Secrets and Surprises

**Juti's POV**

That magical night when we were together as husband and wife for the first time gave Erik's endless trust to me. The fact I was willing to spend the night with him and act like a loving and accepting wife in each and every aspect of the relationship finally made Erik realize he indeed had a living wife he was free to love and could easily and always expect love from in return.

I think this realization had caused a smaller shock in him, as in the following days he did not speak much, but his eyes, whenever he looked at me reflected so much adoration I could not help but felt both love and pity towards him. He also had a new habit since the first lovemaking we had - he would randomly stare into my eyes and say "Thank you" for no apparent reason at that moment. Yet I knew the thank you was said every time because he remembered back what I proved him a few nights earlier, and he always wanted me to know how much he appreciated it, and was still thankful by the mere thought as well. He also started crying in random hours of the day, spontaneously, especially after he was looking at me. Well, this aspect I did not like too much. It made me sad, and plus, our honeymoon was slowly coming at an end. After only one week in Salzburg, we were heading home and the road back was making me a bit of sad, to be honest, thinking about having to say goodbye to the pleasant journey. And to top all of it, Erik is crying regularly…

Why are you crying? - I asked one time, bothered by the fact he was maybe sad.

Oh, do forgive Erik for his weakness, my love. - He kissed my hand, and took it in his large hands to stroke my fingers longingly.- Thank you. - He added again.

What do you thank me for?

Well, the fact you are here. The fact you are with me. I adore you. - I did not even have the time to get prepared of his sudden movement, he went on his knees in front of me in a split second. He kissed my fingers on both of my hands, and in the end he leaned down to the ground to kiss my feet in his ecstasy.

I don't know why do you humiliate yourself so much, always. I am not a queen.

You are more than that, love. - Erik looked up at me seriously. - More than that.

But I don't deserve such a treatment and being put on a pedestal.

Oh ho! - He chuckled. - Did you not do, and are not doing up until today, the same exact thing with Erik? Erik clearly doesn't deserve such a respect he is receiving from you, but you, my love, do deserve anything beautiful. Anything good and pleasant. I would do everything, listen, my dear, what I say, everything for you. Just say a word, and I am going to spoon out the lake Averne for you, using nothing but a thimble! Oh not the lake, the Seine itself, the whole river Seine! - He grabbed my hand again, passionately squeezing it.

That would be kind of a pointless activity to do, but thank you for willing to do so.

No matter how silly or pointless something might sound like, say it, and it is granted. I do it for you as you are here with me and it makes me eternally thankful. You see, I never dared to imagine I could have a wife like everyone else, in each and every way possible… who accepts me… and this, as it is completely new and unexpected to me, it does make me cry sometimes. Please know that it is not sorrow or hurt that makes me cry, unlike earlier in my miserable life… it is love.

I am much calmer to hear that. - I nodded. - I am still worried a bit that I am unable to make you happy because of all the sufferings you had to go through, no matter how much I try.

Oh never fear that my love. - He shook his head and hugged my legs. - The year I had spent with you makes up to the 50 I have spent in loneliness. I mean it. Every single word.

After Erik's confession I at least felt much better about his mental and emotional health and state, and seeing how happy this made him, I allowed him to treat me like a goddess if he got in the mood to do so. It included allowing him to kiss my feet or not asking him not to follow me around on hands and knees (though after a point I warned him if I felt uncomfortable because of it and playfully remarked I did not marry a dog), and to allow him to suddenly scoop me up into his arms on the street and carry me for a short distance if he wished to carry me through some puddles, not to have dirt on my shoes. I wouldn't have minded it though, but seeing how happy it made him I felt I could not deny it from him. Let him treat his wife kindly. I am the first one who allows him all of these things, and just let him do whatever he wants unless it clearly hurts or annoys me or someone else. And I have to admit, these were my guilty pleasures as well, at some level… I mean who doesn't enjoy being spoiled? I do believe every wife dreams of her husband devotedly carrying breakfast to her in bed, with a cup of tea or coffee (sweetened, with a ton of milk, please) and waking her up with a kiss. Am I horrendously selfish if I enjoy if it actually happens to me because my husband loves to spoil me?

He also wanted to shower me with gifts from that special night, but I always said no to each and every suggestion he made. I had everything I needed and I did not wish to seem like I accept gifts for making love. I didn't do it to him because I wanted to receive jewelry in return. It is the definition of a "whore" in my imagination, getting pricey gifts in return for having sex. When I reasoned it to him, he seemed to be hurt for a few seconds, but after he nodded.

Whatever you feel and makes you happy, my love, I accept it. But please know the gifts I am willing to buy you are not meant as a payment for lovemaking, rather they are a symbol of my endless love to you. Are you still sure you wish to receive nothing?

It changes my point of view, but I would still say don't give me expensive gifts for no apparent reason. I feel uncomfortable if I get too much things, I am not used to being spoiled so much.

Isn't it enough of a reason you exist?

No. - I shook my head, giggling. - Please give me gifts on special occasions only.

Good. But those special occasions will be chosen by Erik.

But… it is not how it works, Erik.

Every special Thursday, or Saturday. Sundays are not, because shops are closed.

Ricky… - I actually wished to annoy him, but to my surprise he turned to me with an adoring glance and kissed my cheeks.

Yes, my love?

Wait, you liked being called Ricky?

I love being called anything if it is you saying my name.

You used to say you hated that name.

But how can someone hate hearing any word escaping your lips by your beautiful angelic voice? It might have been a time when Erik disliked that name, but nowadays he thinks his little wife may call him even a rat and he'd still love it.

I would never call you that.

I know. - He patted my shoulder with affection. - But still, I wouldn't mind it.

Well, it seems like you have already made up your mind about showering me with gifts, no matter what I say?

Exactly. - He nodded. - You know, my little Juti, this was always one of the things I loved the most about you: you are a smart girl.

All right. - I shook my head with a forgiving smile. - But please at least promise me they won't be too much expensive.

As you wish. But something simple is acceptable?

Yes. - I nodded.

And then the idea hit me.

Erik my angel…

Yes, my everything? - He looked up at me, waiting for my order like a slave waits for his Countess to give orders he was willing to obey the soonest possible.

You said you wanted to give me something? Gifts?

Yes, dear, anything. Anything you wish. Do you wish to receive something?

Yes.

Oh, finally you came to your mind. Why not to accept gifts from your devoted husband, hm? And what do you wish him to give you? Flowers? If you wish I go to the nearest flower shop and collect all of the flowers for you.

All?

All that is worth collecting, yes.

No, Erik, what should I do with so much flowers?

Hmmm. Well, don't you wish for flowers? Then what shall Erik buy for you? Dresses? Shoes? A bag?

I shook my head to all of thee suggestions. When will he finally find out the thing I ask for is for free?

But then what would you like to have? Chocolate? The biggest box of chocolate I can find?

No, because I will get fat. More than I am now.

You are not fat, what do you say… but then what? Tell me, I have ran out of ideas.

Buy me nothing.

But you said…

Yes I said give me a gift. Not to buy something, just give me a gift.

Oh. But then what do you ask? A kiss?

No. Something I can keep. You know… I read victorians loved to possess something their loved ones owned before.

Oh, I see. I give you whatever you wish for.

I don't want to wish for anything special, but I ask you to give me whatever you would not miss too much. I know you… took things from Christine too. I don't know though how could you take a shoe buckle and what did you do to it?

Things like these are not exactly with you to do anything special with it, you see, just to have something the loved one used to possess. And Christine gave it to me. I don't always steal, you know. But I have to admit I had already taken something from you. For the same reason.

Me? What? I did not notice anything missing.

It is not an object. I took a lock of your hair when I cut it for you before your Birthday.

Oh yes, but I did not know you kept it. I did not see it anywhere.

He reached into one of his coat pockets without another explanation and he picked out a golden locket and handed it to me. When I opened it, I saw the part where one would, by my standards, put a photo into, contained some of my hair. I looked at him and giggled.

Yes. - He nodded. - And now, would you ask my hair in return? Or… wait.

I was about to agree when he suddenly seemed to have a better idea. He was staring at his hand just as if he saw them for the first time, and after he abruptly removed the ring from his left pinky. He had that ring since forever I think, he had it when we met as well, and now the only jewelry he wore were his wedding ring, this awkwardly placed ring, his cravat pin and the cufflinks. I never understood why he wore it on his pinky, and this was the first time I saw him without it. He was turning it between his fingers for a few seconds, then he took my left hand and slipped it on my ring finger, as the right ring finger was already occupied by my wedding ring. True, I already had jewelry which once was Erik's, but that was a long time ago, yet in Persia when he wore the ear rings. This ring was so freshly removed I could feel his presence with it. And by the fact he wore it constantly, it indicated he liked that ring, which added to its value in my eyes.

Are you sure you won't miss it?

No. - He shook his head. - It is not even my size. Too small.

Oh so this is why he wore it in such a weird position. It would not fit on any other fingers.

Erik… was it a ring of someone you loved?

Not really. - He shrugged. - But now it is.

But then why did you wear it? - I went on curiously.

Out of a strange clinginess towards the past and issues I did not have the power to change. It was my mother's wedding ring. I did not have the heart to abandon it. I wore it… out of habit I guess.

I smiled and walked to him to give him a heartfelt hug.

Thank you. - I knew it was a huge effort from Erik, giving me his mother's ring whom he, contrary to what he always said, did love.

It is nothing. - He said. - Maybe this fact you wear it will make that piece of jewelry more pleasant for me to look at. As now it is indeed worn by someone I truly love.

The mother's ring yet wasn't the biggest thing I received from Erik.

One evening when I started packing our stuff in the suitcase for we had to leave early the next morning to catch the train to take us even closer to Paris, and Erik gave me his endless trust to allow me to pack his stuff as well, I suddenly noticed Erik's suitcase was false- bottomed. Of course, I got instantly curious. I peeked inside the secret part to see what Erik kept there, and I saw some kind of booklet there. What is that?

Erik, may I see it? - I picked the booklet out to show it to him. It did not look like his journal I had read before, it was bigger and thicker.

He did not reply for some moments, examining me seriously, but after he nodded.

At your own risk.

What do you mean? Will you… be mad if I do and I should avoid it?

No. - He replied simply. - I am only afraid you won't be able to handle the contents and shall suffer because of it, and I do pity you for that possibility. If that is going to happen, I must state I never meant to harm your soul in any way. You brought it on yourself and Erik is going to try his best to make you feel better, but remember: things you saw can't go unseen any more.

This strange warning made me even more curious of what on Earth that thing might be, and I opened the boook to see the title page.

 _Don Juan Triumphant_

Finally! - I exclaimed.

Lord have mercy upon your innocent soul. - Erik sighed and he seemed to start praying.

What on Earth he was so upset about, it is only music.

Do you travel with your opera, man? - I giggled, turning the page. He did not reply, he seemed to be lost in prayers. - Oh come on, shall I not spray holy water on my head and put garlic necklace on me to avoid the awful effect of your music? - I asked with disbelief.

Don't be sarcastic. - He warned softly. - I am really afraid it is going to hurt. A lot. Not demonic. Only hurtful. Pain.

The way he said the word "pain" made me pity him instantly. I closed the book on my lap and looked at him.

Shall I put it away?

You would do it. For now. But once you have discovered it, I know you have no calm until you see it. You women run into your own fate. I can't save you now. See. I can't lock it away all the time, as the Blue Beard could not lock away that room either. Just I ask you to step in carefully and escape as soon as you need to.

I opened the book carefully after Erik's second warning. I did not know what was the fuss about, but he, as the composer, sure knows his music the most, and if he is afraid, he might well have the reason. But what can be hurtful about music? I am a musician myself, not a superstitious villager from the middle ages. What kind of harm some sheet music may cause me? Somehow I was sceptic, but at the same time the way Erik was speaking and seemed to be really worried, I have to admit I got slightly alarmed and turned the page to the start of the Overture with trembling hands.

Powerful start. Nothing special at first, just an energetic and lively melody, with much thrills, and only a hint of distress to sense, only in the atmosphere, but maybe it was only because of my already worked up state of mind. The overture's first half was like some more serious work by Tchaikovsky, only a bit more dissonant and less obedient to the old school forms. Late romantic, passionate, fast, slightly dark. But then in the middle of the Overture, after a faster roulade which was a bit of demanding for both poor string and woodwind section, suddenly an accord came, which revealed PAIN. Yes, it looked and sounded both like someone, perhaps during a passionate debate with an opponent, was suddenly, without any warning, brutally stabbed in the back. It was one long, entirely out of place accord, giving the whole thing such a suspense and dissonance that it could not even be lightened throughout the next 100 measures. The next sequence after the painful cry became slower, like a lament, full of staccato - like crying, modulations which gave nothing but discomfort and a feeling of being utterly lost, alone in the dark. Though it wasn't simply a depressive lament. It also contained sweet, enchanting melodies which were abruptly turned to another fit of madness soon. Erik was a master of lulling the listener into a false sensation of safety and calm for a few measures by choosing more traditional harmonies… only to slap you twice as hard and punch you in the stomach with another horrendously scary and still well- composed and beautiful cry or yell. This went on during the full Overture, which was, as I was able to calculate, about a good 30 minutes if being performed. Well, Erik clearly did not expect people to see it in theatre. When I read the closing measure of the Overture, I was surprised to see Erik did not bother to close the sequence calmigly. The end was just as uneasy as the earlier parts, sending the message that "it will never get better" . The music did not go back into the starting position, wasn't composed in sonata or rondo form, and the delight which would and should follow such a mental breakdown, did not come. At least not in the Overture. Maybe later?

Are you all right? - Erik's voice rang in my right ear, reflecting worry and pity at the same time.

I put down the Masterpiece on the bed, and stood up, looking directly in Erik's eyes. He turned his head away, bothered by my questioning glance. I think he was prepared of a mental breakdown or a crying fit on my end.

 _Erik_

 _She was motionlessly staring at the manuscript for too long. I knew I should not have let her see Don Juan Triumphant, as she had too weak of a heart for that. I was seriously worried for her sanity, and hesitantly called out to her to make sure if she was at least capable of communication._

 _She put down the work and turned to me. I could not stand her eye contact, not now, after she met the horrendous side of Erik…_

 _She had just met the Phantom of the Opera._

 _She just saw what was on the Phantom's mind, thankfully she hadn't met him before… I did not want her to meet the Phantom at all, never in her life. She, I think, believes she had met the Phantom before, but it is not true. No. Not even in the cellars of the Opera, she did not meet the Phantom. It was merely an anti social Erik, who did not wish people to meet him and bother him, but the Phantom would have just left her there to die… The Phantom never panics and never is able to think logically, with a cold head, he kills without a second thought, and never cries… never… Erik cries instead of him… the Phantom, who steals, blackmails, threatens, fights, kills, manipulates, uses the punjab string, plays the Syren trick, steals the singer from the stage… the Phantom is everything which is the worst in Erik, a cold- headed merciless murderer. Not even Erik himself wishes to know him, and no one can predict his actions and no one can stop him. Not even Erik himself. And he never ever wished Juti to meet such a madness._

 _And now what shall happen, now that she met this horrid state of mind?_

 _But Erik… Erik is not the Phantom, or at least not always. He does panic, he cries and prays beside an unconscious- half dead girl, puts damp cloth on her forehead regularly, cradles her and hums her to sleep, and checks her pulse and breathing…_

 _Would she believe Erik won't become as crazy any more as it is depicted in that manuscript? Is she now afraid of Erik?_

 _While I was trying to work out a solution and a thing to say to her to calm her, I suddenly felt her jumping in my arms, without any warning and kissed me on both sides._

 _I was speechless from the sudden shock, but seeing a huge grin all over her face made me even more clueless. Why is she grinning, I pray?_

 _Erik, you are awesome! - She spat out proudly and hugged me tight._

 _What? - I thought for a split second that my hearing was off._

 _You are the greatest composer ever, my love. I have never ever seen such an overture, you are the master of creating and holding suspense._

 _Oh, shall I take it as a compliment? - I laughed out in embarrassment._

 _Of course. - She nodded vehemently, as always when she met something which was to her liking. - In modern days you should be a movie composer. You would receive Oscar and Golden Globe prizes for each notes you write._

 _You are exaggerating yet again, but are you sure you did not get any kind of shock from Don Juan?_

 _Only the shock realizing what a great composer you are and a master of playing with emotions in music…_

 _And in real life. - I remarked with a hint of sarcasm, but she did not seem to notice it, or just did not want to hear the sentence and went on:_

 _I wish to be as good as you are, one day._

 _You… you are so crazy. - I patted her excited little head while she was occupied by hugging me and grasping my hands. - Such a crazy little girl… but I would not have you any other way._

 _I love you like this, my fearless, emotionally strong, but bit of too daring little wife. You think you are afraid of many things and I know, for example bugs alarm you, yes. You are only afraid of minorities, like heights or wasps. But you are not afraid of the things you should be afraid of the most: madness and cruelty. You, I think, are not even able to identify these feelings, if you are faced with them, and you think you are emotionally weak. You can bear more than most of the girls, without even knowing. It is both welcome and alarming. You are so naive, always thinking everything is the way it should be. And sometimes I feel like your endless trust and love, and the fact you always think the best of a monster is slowly changing me as well._

 _Some months before I did not think it was possible at all for me to be good. Now that you think I am, and you are not even recognizing my madness through my music either, I seriously start to believe I can be good._


	9. Some Spiritual Journey

****Juti**** **'** ** **s POV****

The journey to home was nothing special to mention, save for Erik's endless adoration and gratitude he was still showering me with.

The strange thing was he became even more grateful and loving towards me after I sightread Don Juan Triumphant that evening. He now completely trusted me wih his music, as it reflected his very soul, and allowed me to read the manuscript as often as I pleased. He no longer feared it was going to destroy me, but he once expressed worry over me being able to look at that madness just as music. I did not know what else it could be other than a well- composed and surely out of form piece of art, and as I was reading towards the middle of the second act, Erik's music started to lack even the small amount of form it had before. "Maybe this is where the book's events started taking place?" I thought with a faint smile and glanced up curiously to catch his eye contact. He reads my mind perfectly in the majority of time - he will tell. He did not reply though, only sent me a little unhappy sigh, which indicated I was indeed right.

\- I would be grateful if you stopped analyzing it as if it was a normal opera. - He pointed out in a bad mood after I showed him an accord and asked how that solution came to his mind. I was trying to occupy myself on a long train ride back towards Paris, by possibly learning new forms of composing, but Erik did not exactly take it as a compliment.

\- I wish to compose like you one day. - I explained. - I did not intend to hurt your feelings.

\- I know, but do not wish that, dear, to compose like Erik.

\- I know, you said I had to find my own style, but some ways you use in counterpoint would come in handy to me.

\- I am not talking about the technical side of the composing, mind you. - He rose his index finger in a warning way- To be able to compose this madness would require you to suffer the same miserable life I did. You had a great life so far. - He sighed. - Be thankful for your good luck to have a nose.

\- You could chop it off for me so I will match you. - I giggled, trying to make Erik forget about his physical disfigurement, or to ease the situation with humor. Though Erik usually liked dark humor, he never laughed when I offered him to hurt me in any way.

\- Sometimes I really dislike the nonsense you are talking. I can only hope you are NOT this crazy you sometimes show yourself as. - He jumped up from next to me on the train and crossed the compartment a few times back and forth, then threw himself back down on the seat, looking out of the window with an irritated little snort.

\- Sometimes I don't watch my tongue before speaking. - I cuddled up against his side with an apologetic rub on his shoulder. He looked at me and without a word, hugged me closer, looking down at my head.

\- We are alike in this aspect. - He remarked softly after some moments in silence. - But never ever joke with this again, I hate to think about hurting or losing you in any way.

\- I promise, never again. - I nodded.

He sounded to be relieved as he said "Thank you".

The journey back home was noticeably shorter, we did not stop as often and did not do sightseeing any more. We saw everything, no need to look at them once more. Of course, it was easy for Erik. In his youth he travelled through all of Europe and some other countries as well, and everything he showed me now, he had already seen. He was smiling at me though, a lot, as I was extremely excited and wanted to learn new things even about buildings and architecture which wasn't my forte at all. In reality I liked to study in general, and learning was my hobby. What I learn was nearly unimportant- I liked to learn things I could not have explained by myself later. Everything interested me, I was just not that lucky to match Erik's intelligence to understand everything I learned. Or so I thought.

Oh yes, I had to meet this shameful little experience once during our marriage, and I was afraid what Erik will say if he finds out my weak spot. No, not singing. I used to be extremely bashful about my voice in the beginning of our relationship and I was ashamed he heard my voice for the first time, but since he made me self confident enough to sing without shame again and the music lessons made me sound a lot better than I did before, I was no longer so self critical about singing in front of anyone anymore. Oh no. The aspect he did not yet know about was math and calculating. Sure, I had mentioned him once briefly that I was terrible at calculating things, but I bet he did not believe me and I am sure he wasn't capable of imagining such an anti talent as I was.

Once though, when I asked him how much does a person ask for a music lesson in Paris, and when he gave me the answer and it took me a noticeable LONG amount of time to finally, after 3 retries to calculate my possible monthly earnings (God damn centimes and other change), he had to see what a pitiful excuse I was in the world of numbers.

\- Told you. - I sighed, realizing the amount of disbelief and shock in his glance. - Pray that our child won't inherit this.

\- There is no possible way for that to happen. - He shook his head with a forgiving smile. - I told you many times we are not going to have any children the usual way. You don't have to fear any of our unlucky TRAITS to be passed through.

\- I would not mind your angelic voice to be passed through though. - I smiled at him with a wink.

\- Some things can't be reproduced. - He nodded with self-pride.

I smiled and admitted he was right - he had such a beautiful and unique voice I haven't heard before, and when I read the book I could not imagine it can exist. But knowing him made me learn what an angel might sound like. Powerful and demanding if needed, yet soft and silky, deep and calming, with an unearthly resonance, and he had a humanly impossible range, being able to sing both bass or boy soprano. I was sure such a voice can't be reproduced indeed, not even with genetic knowledge of the XXI st century.

Thinking about his voice and the angels suddenly made me recall a quote from the Bible I met when I was trying to search for the reasons of birth disfigurements according to religions. I was curious because Susan Kay seemed to give a religious reason behind Erik's deformity when she wrote that blasphemous sentence from Madeleine's lips. God seemed to punish her as she was speaking ill of the unborn- yet I never understood why God had to be even more cruel about an innocent baby than his own mother, deciding upon making him disfigured in the end if Madeleine committed blasphemy. As I did not find that too righteous, I tried to search for another reason, and I found a passage in which it was mentioned real angels from Heavens took up human form and slept with earthly women, but they weren't intended at all to reproduce and be humans, and the punishment for that was the child was always a freak.

\- In what thoughts are you so deep in, eh? - Erik leaned closer, playfully poking my nose.

\- You believe in God. - I stated cautiously.

\- I tend to again, nowadays since He gave me a wife to love. In a quite unusual way, to remark. - He smiled. - Why?

\- Do you mind if I tell you a theory?

\- No. - He shrugged.

\- Your father was an angel. - I smiled. - You might not be the Angel of Music in reality, but maybe your Daddy was sent from Heaven…?

\- Let me guess… - I could see he knew why I said that and was trying to recall the exact same passage as well, to quote it, but failed in the end, - it is about that line in Genesis, right, that angels have freak children from humans? I wish it was at least I belong partly to Heaven, but no. - He shook his head. - I can tell you my father was a human. Just an ordinary man, not a vampire or angel, nor was he a demigod. He was a contractor, that is all.

"You can never be a hundred percent sure never meeting him in real life. " I thought, yet I did not tell it to him out loud. He just stroke my hair in amusement and chuckled.

\- The theories you make up, my dear… - He kept repeating laughing and shaking his head.

It was indeed hard for me to accept logically that a man like Erik, knowing so many things, having so much talents at once and being so strong even with his skeletal build can't be more than a human and wasn't a supernatural creature. Yes, I knew he could make people believe whatever he wanted them to believe, and his strength could easily be the result of his physical work in the past, I liked to imagine him as a true angel, and not just a skilled illusionist who loved to study and master everything, with a very pleasant speaking and singing voice.

Also, I knew the reason Erik did not like to think himself as an angel was the reason he committed too much sins in the past - but well, there are fallen angels as well… everything can be explained both ways. Erik stubbornly searched the earthly and logical explanations in everything, and contrary to him being the resident Opera Ghost for years, he refused to believe in ghosts.

\- I wanted to use that board you can talk to ghosts by but I never had one and I was always alone. - I admitted to him once.

\- Nonsense. - He waved in the air. - I can't imagine how is that possible for a child of the future, where you can find every information on your fingertips to be even more superstitious than an uneducated cleaning woman at the Opera in the late eighteens.

\- I can't help but believe in supernatural things mostly.

\- Because you are merely an artistic soul, who likes to make up a reality in reality. You dream being awake.

\- If I did not wholeheartedly believe in your story I would have never time travelled here to find it out myself. - I pointed out.

\- I am thankful for your naivity then, you believe everything if it is told convincingly enough. I only warn you to be careful… a bit more careful than you tend to be. Don't trust everyone, and don't believe everything you see. Learn to doubt. Don't be a next victim of someone who wants to use that trait to their advance.

\- With another word… you don't want me to be the next Christine Daaé? - I winked at him.

\- Exacly. Touché. - He moaned. - But at least you understand my intents.

Arriving home was a pleasant thing after such a long journey. Meeting Wolfy again melted my heart, him purring and climbing up on my lap made me happy and feel that I am loved by someone else than Erik as well. I was feeling a bit of guilty for leaving him there in the house for such a long time, but the Daroga was so kind to take care of him that I at least knew he was in good hands.

\- Right, the cat is alive. - Erik nodded noticing him on my lap. - And I am going to take the keys back from the Daroga the next time he visits.

\- Won't it be better to have them at him for emergencies?

-No. He would be the last person I would leave the keys at for "emergencies". The nosy cop.

\- Erik, Erik… - I shook my head, smiling.

\- You don't know him for as much time as I do. - He replied naturally while opening all the doors the Daroga was closed out of.

\- I am going to search for a maid tomorrow. - He moaned, seeing what the fact he did not let the Daroga in those rooms had caused - all of the rooms were full of dust.

\- I will do it. - I offered.

\- We have already talked about this, did we not? - He pointed at me accusingly. - You promised Erik you will agree.

\- It was merely an offer. - I backed away. - I agree.

A nod came as a response.

\- But you promised something as well. - I warned him as he started making our beds for the evening, changing the sheets. He removed his clothing unnecessary for this task, but the Michael Crawford mask was still on him.

\- Yes? What? - He turned back to face me.

I pointed at my face without a word, and imitated a peeling movement, just as if I'd remove a rubber mask like his.

\- All right, all right, I forgot it. - He turned away from me while he took off the mask, then turned back to show me his real face finally. - Here, are you satisfied?

\- I couldn't be happier. - I unexpectedly jumped into his arms and he nearly wasn't able to catch me in time.

\- Oh you scared me I thought you will fall right in front of me. - He kissed my forehead. - Little silly.

\- You always catch me. - I grinned. - I trust you.

He always seemed to be surprised when I assured him about my trust towards him, and when I wanted to see is bare face instead of the Michael Crawford mask.

Life went on, not exactly as it used to be before our honeymoon, as Erik was noticeably kinder and sweeter even more so than he was, and we hired a maid who came to take care of the house instead of my dear old husband, or me. She, contrary to what we agreed about with Erik before, did not only come once a week, but every other day on weekdays. I did not mind it too much as in the end I liked Marie-Susanne. She was kind and helpful, I expected someone older and more vulgar, someone like Mabel in the series "You rang M'lord?", but the maid wasn't a toothless drunkard. She was just a bit older than me, about 35, she had red hair and freckles, and she told me she had two children. I most certainly felt better about her presence and trusted her enough to let her do my job. Erik was content. I understood he did not wish to bother with housework any more, he was old, a man, and he had been doing housework for too long to enjoy it any longer. I felt like a spoiled princess. I was used to doing housework when I used to live at home, and I loved to help my Mom, but I did not feel too useless contrary to I did not have any job to do.

Something started to occupy my mind other than music: the thought about angels and religion came to my mind more and more often, and the fact we did not have a wedding Erik imagined for us completely was starting to interest me. I know he wanted a church wedding… but not only that. I started to get more interested about religious music. I haven't heard much masses other than Mozart's religious works, and I always wished to learn new things… and why to be a outsider when I could take a spiritual journey? My parents wanted me to chose the religion I feel like following in my adulthood, this is why I received no religious education or baptismal. But it did not have to stay like this. If I can make both of us happy, why not to surprise Erik with a decision I won't harm anyone with?

As Erik wanted to get married at the Madeleine, I thought it was the easiest and most logical step if I started to make preparations in that very church. I wasn't idle for too much time - I was always proud to be able to say no to procrastination. It was going to take months anyway. I am afraid I am already late if I wanted it to happen before Christmas- but anyway, it will be good next year as well.

 ** _ _ **Erik**__**

 ** _ _ **22**__** ** _ _ **nd**__** **** ** _ _ **November, 1882**__**

 _ _I don't now what is it going on with Juti lately. We are a happily married couple, and she is so sweet to me every time she is in my presence, the dear little girl, and I could not be happier as a husband. I always wished for married life like this, in peace and calm, and I love to bathe her in milk and butter, I literally kiss the ground she walks on, and she is still so clingy and loving to me… and everything is so perfect I can't believe it is my life. Sometimes I still think I am going to wake up in the cellars in that horrid coffin, but I slowly believe it can't be a dream. But everything is so perfect… Nearly everything…__

 _ _She has secrets in front of Erik. And he does not like it too much. It always makes me have disgusting and shameful accusations against her in my mind. I know I shall not think she goes to attract men on the streets and after she comes home to be my dear little wife. But I can't help but think she has something important to hide from me. Erik hates secrets. I should trust my own wife, damn it, but old habits die hard… and I am jealous and my early life made me learn the hard way I can't blindly trust people.__

 _ _But she is so strange lately… at first she is going somewhere alone nearly every day. ALONE, I repeat.__

 _ _At least she could TELL me where she is going. Especially on Sundays. Without ME. I am not against a walk, on the contrary, but I am SUPPOSED to take her out on Sundays. WHY she goes all alone? Every time I offer my accompaniment she refuses and finds a pitiful excuse of a LIE why I should not join her. The first day she disappeared she only told me she felt weak and needed a bit of walk in the fresh air. She returned 3 hours later. Ha! Does she think me THIS stupid?__

 _ _Another warning sign is she started reading the Bible. The bookmark I left in it keeps reappearing at different places all the time. Also, I noticed she was humming psalms under her breath. Someone, or at least I turn to God always when I feel extremely guilty about something and I wish to seek for forgiveness or at least compassion. Can it be something bothers her? Did she do something she has to confess…? And what that may be if she does not want to tell it to the closest person to her: me? Can it be because it is something she does not want to tell me as it is something she committed AGAINST me? I know I should not think such things about her but her behavior changed and I can't find any logical reason why.__

 _ _My patience is slowly coming at an end. And when it happens may God have mercy upon us.__

 ** _ _ **25**__** ** _ _ **th**__** **** ** _ _ **November**__**

 _ _I could not help but tried to confront her today when she tried to sneak out of the house again. She stuttered some nonsense yet again, which made me even surer she isn't being honest with me. I did not wish to yell at her for hours to come and lock her up in the house before I know the truth, so I counted to ten in my mind and played the role of the idiot who does not realize what is going on right in front of his nose. Yet, my darling, if you are meeting a young man, I shall teach you the lesson of how to treat your husband!__

 _ _Following her was easier than I thought. She did not go by any vehicle though, she was WALKING. Walking to downtown from the suburbs. This is why her feet are in pain, as sometimes she did complain about it, so now I know. I did not have to go too silently in her heels. She seemed to be deaf to any kind of distraction, she did not hear my footsteps, not even my coughing I accidentally nearly revealed myself by. She just walked. I noticed the tempo and the style of her walking slightly changed from time to time, and I did not understand why. There were moments she was walking slowly for a time, but it abruptly changed to cheerful marching a few minutes later. She added bouncy jumps from time to time and looked to be amused. What on Earth was going on was beyond me until we reached more crowded streets. She was marching and jumping around happily, I was sometimes afraid she might lose her balance or slip on the bit of icy roads. She did not seem to care at all, she was at someplace else in her mind, but why did she not hear anything?__

 _ _I was following her a few steps behind her back, when we arrived to a road junction. A carriage wanted to turn into the street to the right, and when I noticed that I stopped to let it go. Yet she did not! She wanted to cross the road in front of her without even looking around… The only thing I could see was the carriage turning and she taking steps towards the middle of the road, and wanted to do a happy little jump…__

 _ _I thought I was going to get a heart attack in that exact moment…__

 ** **Juti's POV****

I suddenly felt a rather violent squeeze on my arm and someone pulled me backwards by their full force, so I nearly fell back, and through the cheerful melodies of Carmen's Overture I heard a cry. It was a painful and scared yell of a male, and upon trying to regain my balance I noticed a carriage passing me just a few centimeters away from me. It nearly hit me, and would have if the person did not pull me back in the last minute. I quickly removed the ear-buds and looked back at my hero to thank them and… there I noticed my husband, not being able to do anything else than squeezing my coat on the arm, breathing heavily from I believe, fright and anger at the same time.

\- Thank you, Erik, dear… - I stuttered sheepishly. I did not know what else to tell him and he wasn't in the mood to say anything. He caught my shoulders from both sides and shook me. I did not tell him to stop, he was right. He wasn't angry at me, but he did not know how else to release his stress about nearly losing me.. or at least I could have gotten seriously injured.

\- I am sorry Erik, I did not hear…

\- I know. - He replied in a bad mood. - Never dare to listen to your stupid music on the streets again, or else I will…

\- You saved my life. - I smiled at him, hoping to make him feel better and I hugged him. He was trembling, but hugged me to himself. - You saved my life yet again. - I repeated, burying my face into his coat. - My hero.

\- Meh. - He sighed, seemingly feeling a bit less stressed, but he still wasn't too happy. - Home we go.

\- Umm… Erik, I have some business to…

\- No. - He shook his head violently. - Enough.

\- I am going to be late.

\- Your partner can wait. - He snapped. - If you do this a few more times I will be dead and buried anyway, so you can meet him soon!

\- You think…? - I gasped and looked up to meet his eye contact. - Erik this is why you followed me? To see if I meet another man?

He did not reply. He pulled me by the arm to turn around and walk home, but at the first corner to the opposite direction he stopped and leaned against a wall.

\- Erik, are you all right? - I called out with worry.

No reply.

\- Erik please I did not mean to scare you this way and I had no intent to meet anyone else than you.. I love you and… and…

\- Where did you want to go? - He hissed.

\- I can't tell. - I shook my head. - Surprise.

\- I hate surprises. - He barked. - DO tell.

\- I was heading to the Madeleine. - I admitted. There was no use to deny it any longer, Erik was simply too angry with me to handle the fact I was dishonest with him any longer.

\- On foot? - He did not seem to believe me, it was quite a walk from our home.

\- Yes, I don't want to go by a cab, I have no money for that.

\- Bullshit! - He snapped. - You do have money for it, you go to my room and take bloody two francs out of my wallet and hire a cab! Simple as Hell.

\- You know well that I don't like to take money from you.

\- Virgin Mary in Heaven why are you such a stu…. studious little ting mostly God daaaaa…. Dante's Inferno was a great book!

I nearly started laughing about how hard he tried to avoid cussing and so he changed the words he intended to say by nonsense. I hugged him again, he did not protest.

\- I am sorry. I go to the Madeleine regularly for a reason.

\- What reason?

\- Can it still remain a surprise dear?

\- No.

\- I show you something at home. - I nodded then, accepting the fact my secret was going to be revealed and I did not want Erik to stay on the streets in this state of mind. He was too much worked up emotionally and he maybe did not feel too well after such a shock. The weather was cold and I knew he was often cold anyway. He was happy to see I did not try to go to the Madeleine, but agreed to go home with him.

When we arrived back to our house and we got rid of our winter clothing I walked to the salon to meet him to talk. He sat down at his chair and I sat down on the handrail to hand him a piece of paper.

\- This is my baptismal certificate as you can see. - I explained. - I am not a pagan any more.

He looked up at me in surprise and asked

\- But why?

\- I made this decision for more reasons. At first, I know I did not know the Bible well enough. I did not receive religious education and I wished to change that. I wanted to go along this spiritual journey and get closer to God. I believe in some kind of greater power anyway, which can be comforting to think about. May it be called God or anything else. I am not an atheist, just was undecided about wanting to do anything with religion or not. Secondly I think I can get rid of my flaws easier if I fight against them and confess my wrong habits and decisions. For example I confessed I can't take anything seriously and I joke about the wrong things which should not be joked about.

\- Did you? - He smiled finally. - And what did the priest say?

\- He said the intentions matter the most. If I joke to hurt someone else it is a sin. If I am sarcastic to mock people it is a sin. Being imature with a good intention is not.

\- Yes. - He patted my head with a forgiving smile. - And besides God created you to be like this. I am sure he knows how you are. But I believe you have more reasons for this sudden change of mind. What does it have to do with me which is a surprise, eh?

\- Well, that is where I made the mistake. I should have told you. I mean I did not know I had to go to church for so many times until it is possible for us to do what we always wanted to do. I mean I thought it will take much less time to be able to have a church wedding finally, but…

\- Do you… did you… just take up my religion so that I can marry you at the Madeleine…? - He gasped but his eyes were full of tears.

-I know it will be too much time passing between the civil and the church wedding, but yes. I wanted to show you I would do anything to make you happy. But as I said not only that.

\- Oh you… - He hugged me close and kissed my forehead. - Forgive me.

\- What for?

\- My accusations… - He looked away in shame.

\- I think I would have thought the same in your situation. - I comforted him and gently slipped down on his lap from the handrail. He looked down at me as I sat on his lap and he kissed me on both sides then kissed my forehead again. - So you want to marry me again…? In a few months time or so? I have to have First Communion and I don't know what else. I try to hurry…

\- Don't. - He put his long finger on my lips to silence me. - Just go on your journey. It is a big enough gift you were willing to consider ths… thank you. And… I will be honored to marry you in front of God anytime. - He put his large hand on my shoulder.

\- Erik…

\- Yes?

\- I wanted to have another surprise but I need your help with that. You know… I start to think about music another way since I started to read the Bible… I used to think an artist is some kind of God in itself, creating world - famous artworks and the next centuries will remember the artist's name… but I started to see it from another point of view. I think… talent comes from God, right? And one should thank him for that… no?

\- Finally. - He nodded. - You understand one of the reasons I don't want my music to be published.

\- Would you help me?

\- With what? - He smiled.

\- I thought of writing a Mass to thank him.

\- Good idea.

\- But I can't.

\- Why not? - He pushed my head down to his shoulder.

\- Because I haven't tried it before. - I admitted.

\- You did not try to walk the day you were born, did you? - He asked.

\- No. - I smiled.

\- And you are walking around just fine now, don't you? - He chuckled.

With a smile I looked up at his now uncovered face and smiled at him. This was just what I needed: his support and I knew I will be able to do everything I wanted to.


	10. You are music

After Erik got informed about why I go out to take a walk alone and I told him I was going to write a Mass, he did not mind my absence for the time I was at the church.

I was sure I won't be the typical XIX th century girl even after I took the spiritual journey I wanted to, so I doubted I was going to pray every night before bed or before meals, and I am not going to lead my life as a Catholic housewife who takes the children to church and I wasn't even sure I wanted our children to be baptized at birth. Still, even though I chose to take up religion by my free will, I considered my parents's method more acceptable than "forcing" a newborn into what they shall think of God. Erik, receiving religious education did not always choose to have christian thoughts in his head (on the contrary), and though I understood the reason he turned out the way he did in his adulthood, he was the great example to me about raising a child in religious manner did not guarantee anything.

Erik, as I noticed, was a lot more religious than he liked to admit it, and though he always told me he did not wholeheartedly believe in God, it was good to thank him for various good things happening in his life, other than the tragedies he was also blaming God for. If he exists, he is a merciless thing indeed, Erik often repeated to me during these months.

Yet I noticed he was occupied by something as well lately, it was a new work. Well, I did not like the thought too much, knowing how Erik can be if he is composing. I just hoped we are not going to face another art crisis soon - it was painful to watch Erik the last time he had it, cussing like a madman, hurting himself physically and getting lost in his work neglecting his needs completely.

\- Erik, sweetie… what are you working on? - I asked cautiously one day when I saw him leaning over his desk. I did not even expect a reply, remembering the last time we had to go through this, but he turned his head to face me right away, to my surprise.

\- It is something personal, sweetie, I would not name it until it is finished if you don't mind.

\- Okay. - I nodded. - Only promise me you won't do the things you did last time. I hate to see you suffer.

\- I don't intend to. - He smiled.

Though it was meant to calm me, I knew Erik did not want to calm me 100 percent and both of us knew he might end up consumed by his music. He never INTENDED to do the self- sacrifice for his music in the first place- it just happened, yet he was always sure it is meant to be, and he HAD to do so. Well, at least now he had a wife and I was willing to literally drag him away from the desk if it gets too much for him. I knew it will be a hard thing to do, but I had to take care of Erik, and it included making sure he was well-fed and rested.

For this exact reason I decided to move into the study to compose instead of my own room. It was big enough and Erik was sitting at the desk mostly, so I could sit at the piano. The "main" piano we owned and which was already owned in Erik's former home was in our music room, but Erik later purchased an upright piano he installed in the study, so he "did not need to cross the hall for playing an idea on the piano while he had the risk of forgetting it for good" as he reasoned, especially if "I accidentally happened to bother him while that". I did not mind it at all, and I jokingly remarked he could buy another one for my room. He refused with a smile though, and when I asked why, I expected him to reason the simplest way possible "it won't fit", but he just softly said:

\- If I did so I would never see you down here again.

It was just what I needed at that point, a piano in the same room with Erik. I needed it to compose more than Erik did, so it was good. I just wished it had a jack socket for headphones as my other piano at home. I had an upright piano in the living room of my apartment, but I often used my electric keyboard which was stored in my own room, with headphones for practicing not to bother my Mom while she was watching TV. Erik, thankfully wasn't easy to bother at work. I could play the piano in the same room and he did not raise an eyebrow (he did not even have one, so it was easy for him not to), and though I thought he did not hear me, being so lost in composing, I had to notice he heard what I was doing.

\- If it is a regular Mass, why are you composing in Rondo form?

He asked suddenly, not looking back.

\- Because…. isn't it… right? - I asked, being unsure I did everything right.

\- Not exactly, no. Masses have very strict structural sentences. You ought to use the traditional way unless you wish to be a rebel.

\- I did not… umm… did not really study church music before. - I admitted.

\- I hear that. - He stated calmly.

\- I would have loved to compose something to thank God for music… and my talent… and you. You the most.

Silence. He placed his pen down on the desk and sat motionlessly for some minutes until he slowly stood up and came to me. He put his hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes.

\- You… me? - He asked softly, not believing completely what he just heard. - Me..?

\- Yes.

\- I thought it was merely about music and you and God. I did not imagine I was involved.

\- I wanted to thank God for you. You taught me the majority of the things I know about music and I am just so happy you are real and can call you my husband. I am happy to be able to touch you and cuddle up against you and you are not just a cleverly written character and a platonic love to me.

Erik could not say a word for a time, he hugged me close with trembling hands and kissed my forehead with passion. I could sense his tears falling on my head as he was silently crying. As he hugged my head to his chest I could hear his heartbeat, and feel his shaking hands on my shoulder and back. One thing was sure: it was easy to send Erik to tears. The slightest crumble of affection or love shown to him made him cry with happiness.

\- You know… - He started speaking when he calmed down enough,- I was working on a Mass as well, for the exact same reason… to thank him for you.

We looked at each other with a knowing little smile, and without another word, he sat down next to me at the piano and hugged my shoulder.

\- Well, my little wife… let us create our first child together.

 **** ** _ _ **Erik**__**

 ** _ _ **5**__** **** ** _ _ **December, 1882**__**

 _ _Before I met Christine Daaé I thought I would be happy with any kind of woman who just happens to forget about my disgusting looks for some reason and chooses to stay with me - not out of pity, out of love - and I could not be happier. I imagined my life would be complete with the simplest creature on Earth, who knows nothing about music, it maybe isn't even important she shall like music at all. Prettiness does not matter either- just love. I prayed God for any kind of female, with a loving heart. Strong stomach and poor eyesight might have also been a great trait for my wife to be, as I imagined in my loneliness before.__

 _ _Once Christine appeared in my thoughts and heart, I was sure God had finally shown a sign that I shall have someone in my life who loves music just as I do. I agree now. I would not be happy with someone who does not live on music, breaths music and drinks music just as I do. I would not be able to talk about too much things with a woman who can't understand what I like about music so much. When I planned to marry Christine Daaé I did not dream about anything else than living together in music, singing to each other's pleasure until death shall part. This was all I yearned for.__

 _ _And now… Thank you, my God, for sending two musically trained girls in a row in my underground lair. Thank you for considering my feelings, and how important music was for me always. You know, I was always comforted by only melodies in my early childhood, music made my earlier life at least bearable. You know it. And you now gifted me with the perfect companion… I am sure now that my life with Juti isn't a dream. At first, I am unable to imagine such a girl, by my own fantasy only, I could imagine only a pure, well - written but not lifelike creature I saw in romantic novels. I had to face reality: women are not like what I saw in plays or novels. I don't even know if the authors writing female characters in those stories had actually seen a living woman or were they just miserable bachelors as myself. Girls are not always perfect, and this makes me feel better about my flaws as well. Girls are not all and always queens you can only get close to on hands and knees… they are not that vulnerable or helpless as they seem to be and what I thought of them earlier. Christine taught me part of this lesson when she literally closed a door at my nose (if I had one), and when she yelled at me just as I do at others. And Juti… Juti can be strong if she wants to, she already protected herself successfully against me in the cellar when she did not know exactly it was me, so I am sure she could kick any man she wanted to. And definitely she has flaws as well. But I love her just like that, and she made me understand one can love someone even with major or minor flaws. They don't matter as much when you love that person. You tend to be bothered less about someone being disorganized or touchy when you love the person with all your heart.__

 _ _Juti… she is perfect to me, even if she has flaws. And musically, she is close to perfection in my eyes. does not only sing and play instruments, she composes music just like I do… and she is willing to indulge in the same activity with me, gladly. She is musically educated, loves music, and I bet her heart beats to the rhythm of mine, we understand each other so well. We don't need to talk when we are engaged in the beauty of the harmonies… and how her beautiful deep brown eyes shine when she is composing…! She is such an insecure and shy little thing in general, but when she is playing, singing or composing she is completely changed.__

 _ _That endless love for music is also her flaw, just as her forte… The last time listening to music nearly caused her death after all! If I wasn't around to get her out of the way, I would be now a widower in the first year of my long awaited marriage, damn it! She later apologized and explained to me she used to listen to music while walking her dog not to get bored so easily, being all alone. At first I don't understand this being all alone when walking your dog issue, you have COMPANION at least. Secondly… when I told her I was wondering how on Earth she did not get involved in an accident similar to this one before, she replied "Modern vehicles are louder I noticed them coming even with music in my ears." Well, we worked out a solution. Or to be clear I gave her no other choice than leaving her phone here at home when she leaves the house all alone. She accused me of "emotional blackmailing" when I stated she wanted to commit suicide so that she can get rid of me being her husband… well, I know I say things in my anger I don't wholeheartedly mean and I know I hurt her with that statement, but I am ashamed to admit it was the only solution that worked out in the end. Rather to have a few drops of her tears than a liter of blood loss in an injury!__

 _ _I was angry with her, I have to admit, but this is what she meant by being "perfectly imperfect" when I was sick last year. She was right - one can be perfectly imperfect. I can't believe another year had passed and no major tragedies happened. It is a record with Erik. And I seem to be less unbearable since I have her in my life. Maybe is this my real personality? Sometimes I am still jealous and overworry about her I admit…__

 _ _But now, since we are composing I don't have to be afraid of anything.__

 _ _For a week, we are not doing anything else other than eating and sleeping, we compose our Mass. It is our first child we are both responsible for and we are totally working on it in a 50-50 percent share. Juti's forte is creating happy melodies that are thankful, but not slobbery. And I know the structure we shall compose in. She jokingly calls me the structural engineer, and I have to admit she is right in this case. I work on the form and orchestrate and harmonize some of the main themes Juti writes. I also have to come up with another melodies which blend in perfectly with the ones she imagined. I am surprised at myself, not writing musical madness yet again, just as always before, since I left Persia - I thought I wasn't able to compose normal music ever again after those horrible events poisoning my soul - maybe I am calmer? And this is not a Requiem Mass… it is a mass to thank God…__

 _ _We need a parlor organ. A mass is only acceptable with organ accompaniment. This is the only thing I miss from the house by the lake - a church organ only for me.__

 _ _But only by a piano accompaniment I can hear this work we are creating giving it our soul and heart, is beautiful. Today we sang the Kyrie we just got done with, and I could hardly sing through my part as I felt I had to cry and it was hard to fight it back. Her voice… and the music… it was magic I have never heard before… She was also surprised about how that music sounds while being performed, and she did not realize how much she improved during our lessons. Her voice, though it remained that child-likely high-pitched, was finally operatically trained and gained depth, and in the end it wasn't trembling at high notes. She reminded me of how angels choirs made of children in Heaven might sound like, and I was so delighted and proud to hear her… performing our Mass.__

 _ _I know, together we are going to do whatever we want to together… as we love each other and we can thank God for each other… especially I, for her.__

 ** **Juti's POV****

I could not believe my ears while singing different parts of our Mass throughout the weeks. I sounded like Charlotte Church mostly, just like a real opera singer with a childish voice. Erik was a master of creating melodies in which I was able to show my new voice, and the duets, which were supposed to be either the Soprano - Tenor and Alto- Bass parts of the choir, were blending our voices perfectly, and we were in complete harmony. I just wished we could record multitrack videos like some youtubers I saw in modern times, so that I could hear all of the parts sang at once, all performed by us.

I don't even remember much of December, it ran away so fast. For Christmas, I begged Erik not to buy me anything expensive. Well, technically he did not buy ME anything expensive, but he asked me not to gift him either and just let him choose the gift for us as we were going to have a gift both of us will be happy about. I did not know what it might be, but I obeyed, leaving it at completely Erik.

A few days before Christmas, when I came back from Mass, Erik caught my hand excitedly and pulled me close to himself in joy.

\- Come. - He pulled me by the wrist, being totally excited.

\- What has happened?

\- Close your eyes… oh no… remove the glasses! - He sputtered happily.

\- Are we going to bed? - I grinned while removing my glasses for him. I was already used to doing it for him when we were planning to have sex- it did not happen too much.

\- Oh. - He swallowed with a surprised tone in his voice, but I could hear him smiling soon again. - Not yet, but… it might happen as well, my dear. Erik just wants to show you a surprise… it is for Christmas.

\- Are we opening gifts early, my naughty boy? - I giggled.

\- Technically you will see it anyway, it was too large and impossible to hide in a Christmas box. - He chuckled. - I just don't want you to see it too early.

He gently led me towards the music room and I instantly saw through the open door that something had changed. There was a huge new furniture at the wall which faced us. It was hard to see without glasses what that might be, and Erik did not try to explain anything. He asked me to close my eyes in addition to the missing glasses as not to see anything too early which can give away what it was. He released me some time later in the room, and gently stroke my shoulder, while whispering in my ear:

\- Sing the Kyrie, my love.

I started singing and could hear some strange noise at first, it was like when Erik used to turn on the windbag of the organ in the house by the lake before… and suddenly he started playing the accompaniment. As I opened my eyes and put the glasses back on I saw my dear little husband sitting at his new toy, happily playing, and as he turned back he smiled widely at me.

\- Well, now, what do you have to say about this, eh?

Without a reply, I ran to him, hugging him from behind, and kissed the top of his head several times.

\- For merely this reason, Erik is happy he has little hair there. - He joked. - My hair does not take away from the sensation of your sweet lips touching my head.

We were playing the organ the whole afternoon and had much fun while that. Even the POTO Overture was on program. Erik later admitted it was merely his wish to have an organ, even if it is just a parlor organ instead of a full church organ he had, as he missed that much from the House by the Lake, but I reassured her I missed it as well, and it is the greatest gift for me too.

Erik was true to his word, and at that evening we were going to bed together again, as he simply could not deny it from me, and he liked that activity more and more, as he admitted. He apologized later that it wasn't his forte to do it as often as he might should have been- he wasn't used to doing it often as he loathed himself for that earlier and tried his best to drown out his desires for such things. And… anyway, he was aging. Men in his age were "calmer in this aspect" as he reasoned. I understood completely, and did not plan to nag him too much about it, but it felt great to be intimate with him that night as well.

The wedding wasn't going to happen before Christmas, sadly and not even at the beginning of the new year. I was slow to receive all kinds of religious sacraments, like Communion, Confession and I had to have some exams in which I had to prove I knew the Bible enough to lead my life according to it. Well, as we had the civil wedding before the priest expected we were not waiting enough to consummate the marriage, so I had to have an extra confession just for that. If he knew it was already about five times we did not wait, I am sure I would not have gotten away only with 10 "Hail Mary"s and 15 "paternoster"s. I also hoped that Erik will have to have at least this amount of prayers when he confesses it - he is the more responsible, he is the man and he is much older.

\- I am going to have my settlement with God for that, and whatever I receive as a punishment I tell you it worth it. - He playfully messed up my hair when I told him about this.

The Communion and last confession we had to go through with Monsieur Crawford in the end of January 1883 were much more pleasant as finally I had him with me and wasn't all alone with the priest. I was even happier to hear that we were ready for a ceremony at the Madeleine finally, after doing everything before we could do so. We had to wait 3 weeks after we were announced as a couple to be wed. Doing the Math in my head I could not be happier, but my theory got confirmed as soon as the Father told us the exact date: 25th February!

It was a great date, being on Sunday, and being exactly 4 and 4 days away from both of our Birthdays. It was the perfect day, God must have chosen it for us. I think Erik was thinking about the same thing as when he offered me his arm to accompany me out of the church he looked deeply into my eyes, without a word, but I could read "Thank you" from his expression.

Only three weeks and we are going to be wed again… I am so excited, just as if it was our first one!


End file.
